Emersion
by Baby Rose
Summary: COMPLETE Sequel to Binary: After months of searching, Rinoa has given up almost all hope of finding Squall. But when a disfigured mercenary crosses paths with Laguna, hope seems to be renewed. Who is this disfigured man, and how does he know Rinoa?
1. Prologue

**Author's Notes:** Hey everyone, it's me! Wow, it's been a while since I've been in the FFVIII fandom. It's good to be back! I hope everyone is excited for what's to come, because I've been writing my ass off to get this thing done, and it's almost finished. Editing is still being done on future chapters, but they shouldn't take too long. Pleeeease review, and enjoy!

_**Emersion**: A planet coming from under the Sun's beams so as to be seen after an eclipse or occultation._

_**Emersion  
**Prologue_

_In loving memory of Squall Leonhart  
Forever our commander and friend_

Rinoa knelt before the polished stone in the middle of the Quad and read the inscription silently to herself. It was a nice tribute, she decided, even if it was painful to see. It had been Garden's decision to put up a memorial, but Cid had made sure it was okay with Rinoa before they did it. Obviously, she'd agreed, though a small voice still told her it was wrong to think he was dead. She would never say it aloud, even though everyone around her seemed to believe the contrary. Her heart still believed he was alive, but she was starting to wonder if it only felt him there because his spirit was always with her.

Pulling his leather jacket tighter across her body as the wind kicked up and blew through the aspen tree above, Rinoa closed her eyes. This was the only piece of Squall they had ever found from the crash scene. After months of searching, this was the only thing they'd ever had to show for it, but she was grateful that they'd found it all the same because it still smelled like him. She brought the jacket near her face and took a deep breath, hoping for comfort and reassurance in Squall's lingering scent. But as she inhaled, she found that something wasn't right. Taking the jacket off, she brought it closer and breathed in again, but to no avail. His sweet smell was gone, leaving only her own in its wake.

Tears started to form in her eyes, and the memorial stone blurred. She clutched the jacket to her chest, letting the tears fall. That was the only shred of Squall she had left to cling to, and now it was gone. As long as she could still smell him, he was still among them, in some form. There was still hope. But now…there was no reason to believe he _was _alive, and every reason to believe he was dead. There was no trace of him left, just a stone to remember him by. But somehow, she just couldn't accept it. No matter how much reason she had to believe otherwise.

Perhaps part of her would never give up entirely. Unless a physical body was found, she couldn't fully let go. They'd said goodbye on the ship, but it wasn't enough. It never would be, she realized, but it was time to move on with her life. For better or worse, it was time to start living life again, because she knew that was what Squall would want for her. After all, that was the promise she'd made him the last time she saw him.

Nodding a few times to affirm her resolve, the engraving slowly came into focus again. She reached out with her fingers and smoothed them over Squall's name, then kissed her fingers and touched it again. "I'll always be waiting for you," she told him quietly. "But I'm going to move on now, okay? That's what you wanted, isn't it? But I'll keep waiting. I will."

She slowly rose and shrugged into his jacket again, feeling stronger, perhaps even empowered. In a whisper that was lost to the wind, she said, "Goodbye, Squall."


	2. Chapter One: Nativity

_**Emersion  
**_**_Chapter One: Nativity_**

_**Nativity:** an astrological term meaning, "moment of first breath."_

"That wraps up today's lecture. Please remember to review for your written test on the fifteenth, since that test determines your future as a SeeD. I'm sure you don't need me to remind you. See you tomorrow. Dismissed."

Everyone started to stand around her, but Rinoa remained seated. Her eyes were glued to the front of the room where the instructor had been standing, trying desperately not to panic. She had forgotten the test was so close, and she definitely didn't feel prepared to take it so soon. Some extra help from Quistis would absolutely be necessary.

Taking a deep breath, she collected her books and papers and stood, heading for the door with nothing but anxiety building in her mind. She was entirely focused on the test, and how much she would need to study before it. Exiting the room and beginning to walk down the hall, she wondered if maybe Quistis would take her out to do field training, and then perhaps they could go into Balamb and study in the coffee shop. They could get in some study sessions this weekend, if Quistis was free…

"Hey Rinoa, how's it going?"

With a surprised yelp, she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of her classmate's voice . She put a hand over her chest and looked at him. "Oh Cale, you scared me!" she breathed.

"I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely. "You're kind of jumpy. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," she nodded, smiling weakly in his direction. Her eyes met his briefly, and she noted not for the first time how blue they were, and how well they complimented his wavy blonde hair. She'd often stolen looks at him in class, and they'd talked a few times during group projects. He was quiet and polite, and his bright eyes often captured her more than anything. Chiding herself for thinking about his good looks again, she turned her gaze forward. "I'm just stressing about the test," she answered with a sigh. "I've done so much work to get to this point, and it would be really disappointing if I failed now."

"I know what you mean," he answered sympathetically. "Some of the material is really difficult to understand. Hey, we could have lunch together today and study if you want. Are you free?"

Rinoa stopped walking, feeling a sharp pang of guilt in her stomach. "O-oh," she stammered, unsure how to react. "Actually, I'm meeting someone in Esthar for lunch. He's expecting me in about an hour…"

Cale's expression showed his disappointment. "Right, sorry," he said sadly. "I should've figured you had a boyfriend already. I just thought I'd try. Pretend I didn't say anything."

"Oh no, no, no!" Rinoa exclaimed, mortified by the thought. "He's just a friend, an old friend. We meet for lunch sometimes, just to visit."

"Okay, so…_not_ a boyfriend," Cale smiled, perking up again.

Rinoa struggled to return the happy look. She didn't want to give him false hope, but she wanted to be honest with him. "Definitely not."

His smile widened, and Rinoa couldn't help thinking that his smile was charming. That kind of smile was dangerous. "How about a rain check, then?" he suggested. "Maybe this Friday after class we could go out?"

She blushed scarlet, her eyes suddenly falling to the floor. Squall's face was the only thing coming to her mind. She hadn't dated anyone since her time with him a year ago, and hadn't had any plans to. Though Cale was attractive, sweet, and clearly interested, she still felt like it was too soon to be doing this again.

"Look, Cale," she started quietly. "I really appreciate the offer and I'm flattered that you'd ask me, but I just don't think it's the best idea. I'm really sorry."

His face fell again, but he nodded understandingly. "It's okay. Well, I guess I'll see you around then?"

Rinoa nodded, feeling that stab of guilt again for different reasons. "Yeah, see you. Good luck on the test. I hope you do well."

He smiled slightly before walking away, his shoulders slumping a little. "You too."

She watched his retreating figure and bit her lip, suddenly wondering if she'd done the right thing. But it was too late now, she'd already told him no. She just hoped the voice in her head telling her to say yes had been wrong.

* * *

"…And he thought you were my boyfriend because I said I was meeting you for lunch," Rinoa laughed, taking another bite of food. 

Laguna laughed a little too loudly at that. "Really? That's so funny! What'd you say?"

Laguna and Rinoa had been eating lunch together once or twice a week in his chambers in Esthar since they had started looking for Squall. Laguna had given the funds to start a search shortly after his technicians recovered the _Ragnarok_'s remains, and it wasn't long before Rinoa came to him and asked to be a member of the team. Most talk of the search had stopped a few months back, however. They kept meeting simply because they enjoyed each other's company and they had bonded through their search for him. She couldn't quite explain why, but Rinoa felt even closer to Squall after she met with Laguna.

"I told him you definitely weren't," she giggled. "But then he asked again if I wanted to go out sometime." Her smile faded as the blush returned.

Laguna turned more serious. "And what'd you say to that?"

Rinoa's silence was answer enough.

Laguna's gaze was soft when he spoke. "Do you like him?" he asked simply.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just don't think I'm ready."

"Well, I guess that's understandable," he started. Rinoa could tell he was getting ready to ramble and sat further back in her chair. "I mean, you're the only one who can know when you're ready; nobody else should tell you something like that. I know after Raine passed away, I had a hard time getting back into the ring. But we all just want to see you happy—you know that. And what harm can one date do? But it's not up to anyone to decide except you. I just don't think anyone would fault you for dating, since it _has_ been a year since Sq—"

"I know," Rinoa interrupted before he could say the name. Her eyes had fallen on her plate. "I know. I'll think about it. I just had to say no for now."

He smiled and nodded. "Right. That's what I was trying to say."

Rinoa searched for something else to talk about, desperately wanting to change the subject and almost regretting that she'd brought it up at all. For months, she'd tried to think of Squall as little as possible, and she rarely said his name aloud. It hurt too much to remember that he was gone, even though she would never fully believe he was. It was less painful to keep him out of her mind, but when everything at Garden reminded her of him, it was difficult to do.

Since their search for Squall had come to a dwindling close, most talk of him had ceased. She'd chosen to help Laguna in their search and justified it by telling herself she was still keeping her promise to Squall. Technically, _she _wasn't doing the searching; she was just a member of the project. They'd combed the entire coast of Esthar for traces of him, but all they'd ever found was his leather jacket in the wreckage that Rinoa still wore often. It was a single shred of hope that kept her going, because surely if he'd died on impact, his jacket wouldn't have surfaced. The technicians had given him little chance of survival from the start, and told her that he might've taken his jacket off before the crash, that it didn't mean anything. There was no solid reason to believe that finding the jacket meant he had escaped. They continued looking for clues, but nothing appeared for six months. Slowly, they stopped searching entirely.

Thinking of projects, Rinoa looked back up at Laguna. "How's progress on the _Ragnarok _going?" she asked, not only relieved to change the subject but also genuinely curious. "You said a couple weeks ago that it's almost finished, didn't you?"

"Yeah!" he answered excitedly. "We should be finished by the end of this week, actually. You should come see it sometime soon; you'll love it. New and improved! Not that it wasn't good before, but you know what they say: 'If it's broke, you should fix it!' I can't wait to see what you think."

"I will," Rinoa told him more brightly, giggling at his misuse of the phrase. "If it's anything like the job you've done with Esthar, I bet it's incredible. You can give me the grand tour when I go."

"It'll be like you never left," Laguna grinned proudly.

Her smile was sad as Rinoa said softly, "I can only hope."

* * *

Darkness shrouded most of Deling City a few hours after sunset, creating a perfect cover for Siber to move under. He rode the shadows to his destination without interruption or notice, just the way he needed it to be. He was certain nobody in the city had ever seen him— if they had, they would have blown his cover immediately. It was vitally important for him to stay low, for more reasons than one. 

He ducked into the meeting place, an abandoned shelter just north of downtown, and joined the group. He was one of the last to arrive, but it didn't seem to matter. Lon was just as pleased to see him as usual. Seven other men and women lined the back wall of the shelter, some looking impatient, some looking annoyed, and others looking exhausted. Siber knew few of them personally, and even then only by code name. He'd worked with most of them, but it was pointless to get to know anyone. Personal matters didn't have anything to do with the mission, and was therefore trivial. Besides, from what he'd seen, none of them were worth getting to know.

"Siber, good to have you with us tonight," Lon greeted. "Did you have much trouble finding the location?"

Lon, the group's leader, was particularly fond of Siber. Lon wasn't particularly heavy in stature, but his look was enough to strike fear into most. His cold green eyes could bore into any soul, despite his calm demeanor and smooth, silky voice. His grace and charisma was almost unnerving. And Siber had seen Lon kill before…he was merciless. Nobody wanted to cross paths with Lon. But he and Siber had a history together tying them to a mutual secret, one nobody else in the group knew about. This secret created mutual respect for each other, but their relationship didn't extend past that. They were hardly friends, mostly because Siber felt that Lon could easily betray anyone the moment the situation called for it. He was as unpredictable as they came.

"It wasn't a problem," Siber responded, finding a spot in the corner. He could feel several sets of eyes on him, no doubt because they hardly ever heard him speak. He didn't acknowledge them, instead checking out his surroundings. The place was dank and uninhabited by anything living, but that was typical of their meeting places. It was inconspicuous, that was what mattered.

"Good. Is everyone here? Austra, Syri, are you with us?"

Two noises of confirmation followed as the last members stepped inside, and Lon started his briefing. "First of all," he began, "nice work yesterday. Job well done. Thank you for your services, Tok and Nica. Until our next meeting, you're free of duty."

Tok and Nica nodded from where they stood and exited the shed, and the room remained silent when they were gone. Lon's presence kept them all distinctly aware of themselves. He commanded their undivided attention. "Now, down to real business. We have three separate missions to complete within the next few days, two group missions and one solo. You three," he motioned, "are headed north. You leave early tomorrow morning. Here is your briefing. Please find me if you have any questions. Good luck to you."

The three members took their briefings from Lon's hands, bowed, and turned away. "Next," their leader continued, looking to the opposite corner, "you four are needed in the city. Here are your briefings. You start tonight. Don't disappoint us."

Taking their instructions and turning away, most of them looked unsure about starting that night. When they were gone, only Siber was left in the room. Obviously he was taking the solo mission. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, he moved forward toward Lon.

"And you, Siber," Lon started. "You're heading on a very special mission. Solo missions are usually rare and dangerous, and this one is no exception. Prepare for the worst, because I accept only the best. Especially from you."

Siber took the paper and read it over, his expression unchanging. He nodded once to himself, still perusing the details. "Think you can handle it?" Lon asked with a smirk.

He didn't have to think about it before he nodded again, more firmly this time.

"Then you leave tomorrow. Good luck."


	3. Chapter Two: Aurora

**Author's Notes:** Hey all! Finally got around to posting Chapter 2. Sorry it took such a long time. I thought I was gonna have one of my friends beta read it for me, but she never got around to it so I just decided to post it anyway. Hope it doesn't suck too much. Thanks for the feedback, and enjoy Chapter 2!

_A__urora_:A glow in a planet's ionosphere caused by the interaction between the planet's magnetic field and charged particles from the Sun 

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Two: Aurora**_

Rinoa's thoughts were jumbled as she walked to the Training Center with her Pinwheel in hand. She couldn't stop thinking about what Laguna had said a few days before, wondering if he might've been right. She'd promised herself and Squall that she would move on, yet she refused to go on a date with someone attractive and sweet. What was holding her back?

Oh well, Rinoa decided. It wasn't worth focusing on right now. Her written test and the field exam next week were the most important things she had to worry about. She'd started working to become a SeeD shortly after returning to Balamb a year ago mostly just to find something to put her energy into, and her work since then to graduate had been extensive. She'd had to take double the course load, and Quistis tutored her twice a week after classes. Aside from finding something to distract her, she also wanted to prove that she belonged in Garden, and this was the only way to do it. She was well on her way to being part of SeeD with her friends, which was all she really wanted.

Opening the door to the hallway of the Training Center, she saw Quistis standing at the other end. "Hey Quistis!" she called, her voice echoing around them.

"Hello, Rinoa," Quistis replied more quietly. "How are you?"

"Good, I'm good. I'm ready to train."

It had taken Rinoa and Quistis a long time to be real friends. Rinoa knew Quistis partially blamed her for Squall's disappearance, and for a long time they didn't talk to each other unless it was absolutely necessary. But seeing Rinoa's dedication to the search and then to becoming a SeeD made her rethink her attitude, and they'd slowly moved toward true friendship. They had also connected through their sorceress powers. Though they didn't mention it very often, both girls felt tied to one another through their powers, and confided in each other when they had problems concerning the subject. Now they were very close, and Rinoa was certain she couldn't have made it this far at Balamb without her.

Since Squall's disappearance, Rinoa had noticed a marked change in Quistis's personality. She was still the quiet, gentle person they knew and loved, but she was more somber now. She'd become rather withdrawn, and Rinoa had a hard time reading her emotions sometimes. Even though they were close, there was still a lot about Quistis that Rinoa hadn't figured out. Shortly after all of them returned to Garden, Headmaster Cid had given Quistis the opportunity to be an instructor again, but she refused. The reason for her refusal was never revealed to Rinoa, Zell or Irvine. Only Cid knew the real reason, and Rinoa often wondered why Quistis kept it a secret. Personally, Rinoa believed she would do a wonderful job if she were to go back to it.

Returning to her present thoughts, she followed Quistis into the Training Center. "Thanks for coming with me," she told her from behind. "I'm so nervous about the test, I feel like no amount of studying is going to help."

"You'll be fine," Quistis told her reassuringly. "You've worked too hard to let it go now."

The words Rinoa had said herself made her feel slightly better. If Quistis, a former instructor, believed in her abilities, maybe she wasn't so bad after all. "I can't wait to be part of SeeD," she said, drawing her Pinwheel as a Grat shuffled toward them. "It'll be so exciting to finally be one of you guys."

After a few hits, one more crack of Quistis's whip brought the Grat down. When it fell, she looked over at Rinoa and said sincerely, "You don't need to be a SeeD for that, Rinoa. You've always been one of us."

The kind words caught Rinoa by surprise, especially given their history. Quistis had been everything but thrilled when she came back instead of Squall, and hadn't bothered to hide it. Rinoa had never mentioned it, mostly because she hadn't wanted to come back without him either, but the words had stung. It was nice to know just how far they'd come.

"Really? That means a lot to me, Quistis," Rinoa replied. "But still, it'll be nice to officially be a SeeD. It seems like it's been forever since I started training."

Quistis nodded. "It does seem like that, doesn't it? We're all happy for you, though." She paused, then added softly, "…He would be, too."

Rinoa fell quiet as well, feeling that she couldn't escape mention of Squall wherever she went lately. She said nothing, moving ahead and attacking another pair of Grats. Honestly, Rinoa wasn't sure how Squall would have felt about her gaining SeeD status. Maybe he would've been happy, or maybe he wouldn't have liked the idea at all, but it was what _she_ wanted.

"Speaking of which," Quistis said as she attacked one of the fiends. "I heard that Cale asked you out and you turned him down. Everything okay?"

_And it just keeps getting worse_, Rinoa thought, completely uncomfortable with the conversation now. She struck the Grat harder, delivering a crushing blow that felled it instantly. "Yeah, everything's fine," she answered, attempting to sound indifferent. "It just…didn't feel right to say yes."

Quistis watched the monster die and turned to face her friend. She walked closer, placing her gloved hands on Rinoa's shoulders. "Rinoa," she started gently, "I miss him too." It seemed even Quistis couldn't bring herself to say his name aloud. "But who are you saving yourself for? He wanted you to keep going with your life. Don't you think he'd be happier seeing you with someone else rather than seeing you alone? He wouldn't want you holding on to a memory. Don't you think so?"

A lump started to grow in Rinoa's throat as she listened to Quistis. Listening to Laguna say mostly the same things had been easier to block out, but she couldn't ignore them this time. She still couldn't muster any of her own words, unable to seal Squall's fate with them. But she had to wonder if Quistis and Laguna were right. Maybe her heart was holding on for the wrong reasons. The past year had brought her to a place emotionally where she could handle the pain of losing him. It had been a long road, but maybe this was the last hurdle. Maybe this was her chance for closure on that chapter of her life.

"I know it's hard," Quistis continued, reminding Rinoa that she was there. "I just want you to consider it. It's not like you're going to get married, it's just a date. Cale really likes you, and I think it'd be good for you to get out."

"I know," Rinoa finally choked out. "I just can't help feeling like I'm betraying him."

Quistis shook her head, maintaining eye contact. "You're not betraying him," she assured her. "If anything, you'll be keeping your promise, won't you? Didn't he make you swear to let go? Not to look back?"

Rinoa recalled telling Quistis, Irvine, and Zell the last things Squall had said to her, and suddenly found a small part of her wishing she hadn't done so. "Yeah, he did," she admitted, closing her eyes and trying not to relive that awful moment, but finding that the memory surfaced anyway.

_------_

_"I need you to make another promise. Only this time, you have to swear it to me." _

_"Okay…what is it?"_

_"No matter what happens here, you have to promise me you'll go on with your life. Don't waste your time with pointless searching. Don't give up on your own life."_

_------_

"Here's your chance to keep that promise," Quistis said, bringing Rinoa back to the present. "I'm not saying you have to, just…"

"Think about it?" Rinoa finished for her with a half-hearted smirk. "I will. Thanks, Quistis."

"You're welcome," Quistis said as she pulled Rinoa into a comforting embrace. "Just remember to talk to us, okay? Don't keep it all in."

"Okay," Rinoa sniffed and collected herself again. "Can we train some more now? I feel like beating something up."

Chuckling quietly, Quistis agreed, "Me too. Let's go."

* * *

Laguna still couldn't believe what he was reading. Even after the third time he'd gone over it, he was still convinced it must be a mistake. Looking up at Kiros, who stood in front of Laguna's desk, he said, "I don't get it. Why would there be any resistance factions in Esthar? People always tell me how good I'm doing, and how happy they are here. How could they hate me so much?"

"From what I've been told," Kiros began, "there is a small group of Estharians who have kept their identities a secret and have been moving about the country as a sort of cult faction. They travel in groups or by themselves, and they've been collecting other members for the last six months or so. Now that they're ready…"

"…They're turning against us," Laguna finished unhappily. "With no real reason why?" His expression was not only perplexed, but also wounded. He still didn't understand what he'd done to make anyone so angry. What could he do to fix it?

Kiros shook his head slowly, his visage grave. "Nothing clear," he replied. "We don't know their plans; we're just going off general investigation reports. Nobody's been able to get too close. This is the first solid information I've received on the matter, actually."

Laguna couldn't think of anything to say. He scratched the back of his head and stared down at the papers with uncertainty. He was sure nobody in Esthar would intentionally try to hurt him, but what if he was wrong? And what if there were others? What if everything he thought he knew about this city was wrong?

"We've increased security around the Presidential Palace, and you'll be with an escort every time you leave the palace. We're taking care of it, but it's an undercover operation that we'll have to wait to hear back on. Until then, you need to be very careful, okay?"

Laguna nodded, heaving a sigh. "Right, yeah. Thanks, Kiros."

Kiros bowed and started to turn away, but a second thought made him stop halfway. "Don't blame yourself, Laguna," he told him, speaking more as a friend now. "It happens in every city, it's not anything you did wrong and it's probably not something you could've prevented. Someone will always be unhappy with something, they'll find someone to blame, and they'll always find others who will follow them."

Laguna smiled a little. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. You're not without your flaws, but I know you're a good president, and the majority of Esthar knows it too."

That seemed to brighten Laguna's attitude a little, and he responded, "I'm glad to hear that. Thanks, buddy. Really."

"No need to thank me," Kiros told him modestly. "I'll see you later."

Laguna's smile remained until his eyes returned to the papers before him. Despite Kiros's words of encouragement, this report worried him greatly. He didn't like the thought of anyone hating him, especially his own people. He couldn't fathom the idea of anyone in Esthar turning against him or wanting to hurt him.

Rising from his seat, he walked to the window and looked out at the city he loved. _How could anyone be unhappy here?_,he wondered. _With so much beauty all around them, what do they have to be angry about?_

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding, Laguna considered. Maybe if he just talked to them, they would see his good intentions. If he could seek them out and get them to listen, maybe none of this would be necessary. He knew his people; they were reasonable, kind and caring. Certainly if he discussed the problems with them and came up with a compromise, everything would be okay.

Feeling much better now, Laguna returned to his desk. Now all he had to figure out was how to get past leaving the palace with an escort and he could pull this off. He started to go through the possibilities in his head, but hit a wall with each one. Every time one of them failed, his expression grew more distressed. He'd exhausted every possibility in a few minutes, and his lips had officially turned into a pout, matching his furrowed brow.

Frustrated by his inability to come up with a plan, he exclaimed to the empty room, "Dangit! Why can't I think of anything!?" He slammed his fist on the desk, then drew it back sharply, yelling, "Oww!"

* * *

Rinoa thanked the cafeteria worker and joined Zell with her tray. The two of them walked to a table in the middle of the room and sat down with Irvine and Quistis, just like they did every day.

"Hey guys," Rinoa greeted. "How's it going?"

"Pretty good," Irvine answered in his standard drawl, sitting back in his chair. "How are you, Rinny?"

"I'm fine," Rinoa said, resisting the urge to grimace at the nickname. Irvine had started calling her "Rinny" a few months back, and she still hadn't gotten used to it. "Rin," was just fine with her, but for some reason Irvine had come up with his own. Rinoa didn't want to tell him it bothered her, however.

"Sho yer 'ig 'est ish comin' up, righ'?" Zell gummed through a mash of hot dog and bun. "Er you shcared?"

Scooting over a bit, but smiling at the usual behavior from Zell, Rinoa nodded. She found it sad that she could understand Zell's words through a mouth full of food, but she knew he was asking about the test. "Yeah, it's on the fifteenth," she confirmed. "Quistis is helping me study, thankfully. We actually went to the Training Center earlier today."

Zell swallowed and smiled across the table at Quistis. "Instructor Trepe is at it again," he commented. "She just can't stay away."

"I'm not an instructor anymore," Quistis corrected in an irritated tone. "I'm helping Rinoa because she's a friend."

Zell held up his hands in defense. "Okay, sorry. I'm just sayin', you were good at it. Rinoa's lucky to have you, that's all."

"I am," Rinoa offered quietly, feeling the tension at the table grow. She was surprised that Zell had the nerve to bring it up at all, though she agreed with every word he said.

"Anyway," Irvine said, breaking the painful silence, "good luck with that, Rinoa. If you need any extra help or anything, let us know, okay?"

"I will, thanks. How's Trabia coming along? Didn't you go up there last week?"

It seemed all of them had been rebuilding something in the last year. Irvine had volunteered to help Trabia Garden in memory of Selphie, and Quistis, Zell and Rinoa went with him periodically to help out. Rinoa hadn't been able to go since her workload had gotten so heavy, and she was curious to know how much progress they'd made.

Normally, Irvine perked up at the mention of that subject, but instead he suddenly appeared sad. "Yeah, about that," he started, tipping his hat down, "I was gonna ask you guys if you wanted to come up with me on the fourteenth, since it'll officially be a year. I'm pretty sure Trabia students are gonna have a memorial service thing."

Rinoa's eyes dropped to her tray of food at the mention of the one year mark. It would officially be a year since Selphie died, which meant another unhappy anniversary wasn't far off. That was the last thing she wanted to think about. Having to remember one passing was hard enough, let alone having _his_ right afterward.

"I know it's close to your SeeD test, Rinny, and…the otherone year mark," Irvine continued, as if reading Rinoa's thoughts, "so if you don't want to come, I understand…"

"We'll be there, Irvine," Quistis told him. She shot a meaningful, but unnecessary look across the table at Rinoa and Zell, who both nodded silently. "Don't worry."

"'Kay."

Silence fell between them again, and Rinoa broke it this time. "You didn't answer my question, though," she prompted. "How's progress on the garden?"

His lips tugged into a half-smile, and his posture straightened. "It's goin' good," he answered, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "We're working on the Quad right now, and making special room for the Festival Committee to meet and build their floats every year. It's gonna be great."

"Wow, that'll be really nice!" Rinoa gushed, smiling with Irvine. "I'll try to make it up there again after the test. I miss helping out."

"Good! We miss having you up there."

As she finished her meal, Rinoa felt just a little bit lighter than she had when she came in, even though some of their conversation had been sad. She was so lucky to have friends like them. Spending time with them always made her feel more optimistic, and Rinoa found herself needing that kind of optimism more and more with each passing day.

* * *

Siber swiftly pulled a heavy black hood around his head, his form hidden in the corner of a building. The sun had finally fallen on the large city, and he could move more freely. Thank God, he thought, because he'd been bored out of his skull for hours.

Preparing his weapon, Siber slowly made his way onto Esthar's quiet streets, traveling only on the edges to his destination. He made sure to avoid light, allowing none of it to touch his face. It would be easiest to finish this in one night, he decided. If he could hunt down what he needed quickly enough, he could report back to Lon by tomorrow and get on with his next mission. It would be simple and painless.

His dark form froze when he reached the outside of the Presidential Palace. His eyes looked it over before he started moving again, ignoring any intruding, distracting thoughts.

He would finish this tonight.


	4. Chapter Three: Falling Amiss

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Three: Falling Amiss**_

An hour and a half had passed, and Siber still hadn't found what he was searching for. Esthar was eerily silent, and the only thing moving this night seemed to be the mercenary himself. An eternal pinkish light seemed to glow in Esthar, and it bothered him. He would rather have had complete darkness, like he always had in Deling City. It would have made moving covertly much easier, but it also would've made his quarry even harder to find than they already were. Growing impatient, he quickened his pace and heightened his already sharp senses.

Passing by the Presidential Palace, Siber's focus faltered. His thoughts drifted to another time and place he'd almost successfully forgotten, and he immediately shook them away. Chiding himself for the distraction, his eyes returned to their combing of the city streets. He would look all night if he had to.

* * *

Laguna's heart was pounding hard. Escaping Kiros's watchful gaze hadn't been easy, and sneaking past security hadn't been fun either, but he was far enough from the palace now that he could breathe. He was still looking over his shoulder, even though all was quiet on Esthar's streets. Kiros wouldn't be happy when he came back from fixing Laguna's midnight snack and found him gone. He would have to hurry.

_Now_, he thought silently, _if I was a resistance group conspiring against me, where would I hide? _His expression twisted. _Well, that doesn't make sense. Why would I conspire against myself? That would just be weird. And if that were the case, I'd have to reason with myself, and then I'd just look _crazy_ talking to myself, and people already think I'm crazy. That wouldn't be good for my image…_

Laguna's thoughts were jolted when he tripped over a box lying in the middle of the road and he let out a yelp. Cringing as the noise broke the silence around him, he froze where he was to make sure no one had heard. When nothing happened, he breathed a sigh of relief and continued on.

_Now really_, he continued to himself,

* * *

Siber was starting to become irritated. His patience had run out, and he was certain he'd never spent so much time wandering around on a mission. What a waste of energy. Honestly, a group of anarchists shouldn't be so hard to find, should they? He was certain Kiros had told him they met in the middle of the night during weeknights, and they switched locations nightly. _Smart_, he thought. That was exactly how his group operated.

Suddenly, the shuffling sound of feet and low voices captured Siber's attention. He retreated to the nearest dark nook and leaned just far enough around the corner to listen. They spoke mostly in hushed tones, making it difficult to hear everything.

"The real problem here is who alerted the president's staff to our presence," one voice said firmly. As Siber listened, he was reminded of how Lon spoke to his group. There was a commanding undertone to his words, even though he spoke quietly. The only difference was that this leader sounded much angrier than Lon ever let himself sound.

Silence ensued for a few long moments before he continued. "If someone doesn't own up to this now…" His voice drifted away, and Siber caught the tail end, "…find out later by myself. And trust me, it'll be much worse that way."

"Sir, we really don't know, honestly," a voice insisted. "No one's been near the palace for days, since we've been scouting exit routes. I swear, if any of us had alerted them, we would've known…"

Siber stepped into the alleyway, his figure suddenly bathed in the soft pinkish light. "They're called _spies_," he said lowly, aggravated by their ignorance, "and they've been tracking you for days. Now they caught you."

Every one of them jumped to attention, wide-eyed and seemingly unarmed. "Surprised?" Siber added with a quirk of his brow. "Good." He brandished his weapon and moved toward them, watching the group tense. Several of them suddenly drew their own weapons, and Siber advanced. The way they reacted was amateur, he thought to himself. This wouldn't be too hard.

* * *

Laguna had been wandering for an eternity. Every place he checked produced nothing, and the streets were still silent. He was beginning to think his ingenious escape from the palace had been for nothing, which would be a terrible waste. Not only a waste of time, but a waste of a midnight snack he'd never gotten to eat.

Just as he was about to reluctantly turn around and head back to face Kiros's wrath, the sounds of shouting and clashing metal disrupted the stillness. Worried that it might be teenagers making trouble, he hurried to the source of the noise. He ran up the path and rounded the corner, expecting to find adolescents out after curfew and sparring, but the scene before him was much different.

Half a dozen men and women were surrounding a figure in a dark coat, several of them with their weapons drawn. The dark figure was matching them blow-for-blow, and one of them fell as Laguna watched. He moved with precision and efficiency; an odd grace Laguna couldn't quite describe. Part of the stranger's face showed in the light, and Laguna's brow furrowed.

It was disfigured.

It didn't look like a disfigurement the stranger would've been born with, he decided. It looked more like he'd been severely injured. Where the smooth curve of his cheek should've been, the skin was uneven, and appeared almost bumpy in places. Though his eye was still mostly intact, the bottom lid sagged just slightly. It was strange to look at, and yet somehow…familiar. As he stared, the weapon the fighter was using caught Laguna's eye, and he did a double take when he recognized its unique qualities. The pieces started to come together, and Laguna's heart leapt. It couldn't be…could it?

"A gunblade!?" he accidentally exclaimed aloud. His hands immediately clamped over his mouth, but it was too late. Every eye turned his way, and none of their gazes were friendly, save for the familiar man in the dark coat, who didn't turn back. He seemed to sag a little at the sound of Laguna's voice.

"Ah," he started nervously, backing up a few paces, "sorry to interrupt, I just…"

"President Loire," one man said, with a sadistic quality in his tone. "Isn't this convenient? There's a lot we'd like to discuss with you."

It suddenly dawned upon Laguna who this group must be, and he was instantly excited. He moved forward again, saying, "Really? I wanted to talk to you guys, too! Listen…"

He didn't get his next sentence out before the weapons were pointed at him, and the faction was quickly moving toward him.

* * *

Rinoa's eyes were heavy as she stared down at the book in front of her. She'd read the same sentence several times now, and still hadn't been able to make sense of it. She blamed it on a lack of sleep from the night before, but the test was looming ever closer and she couldn't afford to waste studying time like this. Besides, if she could go one more hour and actually retain something, she could leave the library, go back to her dorm and relax. Focusing on that incentive, Rinoa straightened in her seat and blinked a few times, forcing herself to take in the words this time.

"Looks like someone needs a caffeine boost," a hushed voice said from behind, plunking a Styrofoam cup of black coffee in front of her. "Here you go. That should take the edge off."

Rinoa turned around with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Cale, that's really nice of you!" she told him. "And I could certainly use it."

He shrugged, moving to the other side of the table. "Just helping out a fellow student, that's all."

"Right," she nodded. "I'm just glad you're still talking to me."

With a look of puzzlement, Cale responded, "Of course I am. You turned me down for a date, it's not like you told me I was too ugly to look at all the time or anything."

Rinoa laughed shortly. "No, I didn't say that."

Cale's gaze lingered on her for a moment before he seemed to snap himself out of it. "Well, enjoy the coffee," he said, clearing his throat, "and good luck with the studying."

"Thanks, I'll need it."

Cale shook his head. "No, you won't."

He started to walk toward the door, and Rinoa watched his retreating figure. He was so sweet. He didn't hesitate to encourage her, he hadn't been immature about her refusal for a date, and he was kind to her. What more was she looking for? Even though she was apprehensive about dating again, it wasn't as if she was making a full commitment. It was just a date, after all, and as Quistis's words came back to her, "Who are you saving yourself for?" she suddenly found herself out of her seat, calling out to Cale in an effort to stop him.

Cale halted where he was and turned back with curiosity. "Yeah?"

Rinoa took in a deep breath and quickly let it out. She started to tug at a strand of hair and moved her eyes around to everything except Cale's face, but finally found the courage to say something. Over the sound of her thundering heartbeat, she looked up at him and said, "I think I made a mistake the other day. I wasn't sure I was ready to date again, but I think I was wrong. I think I'm ready to try. Is it too late to accept your offer?"

"No, not at all!" he answered immediately, lighting up. A mix of shock, surprise, and happiness seemed to wash over him at once. "How's tomorrow night? I'll take you to dinner."

Against her instinct to balk at the short notice, Rinoa agreed. "Okay, that sounds nice."

"Great! I'll pick you up at six."

She forced herself to keep smiling, though she was certain it didn't look genuine anymore. Something was still holding on to her that she couldn't let go of. Apparently her willingness to take risks had been brief. "Okay," she managed. "I'll see you then."

She started back inside, but it was his turn to stop her. "Rinoa…"

"Yeah?"

He obviously couldn't stop grinning while he said, "I'm really glad you changed your mind."

A few silent moments passed before Rinoa could decide on a truthful, yet gentle reply. She settled for, "Yeah. I think I am, too."

* * *

Laguna was panicking as he watched the men advance upon him. He was defenseless, and now realized how thoughtless he'd been by not bringing some sort of defense when facing the people who wanted to overthrow him. Too late now, but what could he do?

"C'mon guys, I don't want to fight," his voice shook. "I'm sure we can work something out."

He was surrounded now, and when he looked beyond them, the gunblade-wielder had vanished. There went his last hope. One of the swords was lifted in the air and about to crash down upon him and he closed his eyes, preparing for the worst, but a few seconds passed and no blow was delivered. When he opened his eyes again, the dark figure was fighting them off. He'd stepped in at the last second and saved Laguna's life.

Several more of the men fell victim to the gunblade, but the unknown rescuer was tiring. He brought his sword up to attack, but the last enemy appeared unexpectedly, and before Laguna could yell warning, delivered a hard hit from behind. The stranger crumpled, his gunblade falling to the ground, and the faction member came after Laguna again.

"What'd you do that for?" Laguna demanded, pointing at the fallen form before him in distress. "You're after me, aren't you? You didn't have to hurt him, too!"

The large, dark-skinned man stopped where he was, smiling crookedly at Laguna. "You know," he said, his tone amused, "you made this so much easier for us. We didn't have to sneak into the palace or avoid any security, and now it just looks like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thanks for helping us out, Mister President. I'm so glad I got to meet you before your untimely death."

"Laguna!" a voice called from a short distance, frantic and desperate. "President Loire, is that you?"

Alerted to the presence of Laguna's aides, the attacker charged forward, but someone yelled out a spell that froze him before he could strike. Laguna relaxed and breathed a sigh of intense relief as a few more Estharian guards appeared.

"Kiros!" Laguna cried, running over and latching on to his friend. "You won't believe it! These guys tried to kill me, but someone stopped them! Some guy with a _gunblade_! Are you hearing me, Kiros? A _gunblade_!"

Kiros ignored him, checking Laguna over to make sure he was safe. He ordered a few of Laguna's aides to arrest the attackers, and added, "Take them into custody and we'll deal with them tomorrow."

Laguna shook Kiros's arm, attempting to get his full attention. "Hey, didn't you hear me? That guy in the dark coat had Squall's gunblade! What if he knows something? We have to find out!"

Kiros was half-listening, watching the aides obey his orders. "Uh huh, I got it," he answered flatly. "We'll take him in too, okay? Let's just focus on getting back to the palace for tonight."

"Okay," Laguna nodded, "but don't arrest him. He saved my life, I owe him now. I think he might be hurt though, we have to help him. Will you help me take him back?"

Kiros gave him a stern look, finally coming to full attention. "You're in trouble already, and now you want favors?"

Smiling abashedly, Laguna said, "Please?"

Kiros hesitated, then sighed in defeat. "Fine," he conceded. "But we have to be quick. It's almost sunrise."

Laguna hurried to the stranger's aid. He was lying on his side, turned away from them. Unsure how extensive his injuries were, he motioned to Kiros. "Help me turn him over," he said. "But be really careful."

Kiros kneeled down beside him and kept the stranger's head still while Laguna slowly turned him over. When he did so, the cloak shrouding his rescuer's face fell back, revealing his full features. A moment passed of Kiros and Laguna simply staring down at the unconscious man before either of them could muster actual words.

His jaw dropped and his eyes were wide, but Kiros finally said quietly, "Oh my God."


	5. Chapter Four: Cor Leonis

**Author's Note:** Hey guys!! Sorry my updates are coming so slowly, it's just really hard to get to a computer where I can upload the chapters. But I hope you enjoy this one, because I had fun writing this chapter. Thanks for your continued support!

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Four: Cor Leonis**_

"This isn't right either!" Rinoa whined, walking away from the mirror and back to the closet while unzipping the navy blue dress she had on. "What am I gonna do, Quistis?"

"Calm down," Quistis reasoned, combing through Rinoa's clothing. "We'll figure out something, you still have time."

"I still can't believe I let you guys talk me into this." She pulled out a lavender blouse, then immediately shoved it back in with a vengeance. "I'm so nervous."

Quistis looked up with her hands still on a pile of clothes. "Rinoa, you could show up wearing ripped pants and a shirt full of holes and Cale would still think you looked gorgeous." She lifted a dress up to the light. "How about this? This is pretty."

Rinoa glanced back with a hopeful expression, but it vanished when her eyes fell on the dress. "I can't wear that," she said in a small voice, turning back to the closet.

"Why not?"

"...I wore it to the SeeD Graduation Ball last year."

Silence followed, and Quistis gingerly set it back down on the pile. She continued to sift through the garments, and the air was still until Rinoa made a happy sound, pulling out a black and white, slender-fitting dress. "This is it!" she exclaimed. She held it up to her body and showed it to Quistis, remarking, "What do you think?"

Quistis looked it over and smiled wide. "That's it," she repeated in agreement. "That's definitely it. Go change, hurry!"

With a little squeal of excitement, Rinoa headed into the bathroom and shut the door. While she changed, she talked to Quistis. "Can I ask you a question?" she said, feeling her anxiety returning.

"Yes, as long as you keep getting dressed," Quistis answered patiently.

There was a pause, then, "Should this feel so weird? I mean, it's been almost a year and a half since I've gone on a real date, but should I be _this _nervous? Is it normal?"

Quistis walked closer to the bathroom door and leaned against the wall. "Well, it's not like I would know," she told Rinoa, attempting to keep any bitterness out of her voice, "but I don't think dating ever gets easier. Especially after what you've been through in the last couple years. I think anyone in your position would be nervous, Rinoa."

The bathroom door opened, and Rinoa stepped out in the dress. "I guess you're right," she said, smoothing out any wrinkles and creases. "How is it?"

Hugging in every right place and complimenting Rinoa's light skin, Quistis knew the dress was perfect. With a smirk, she replied, "I don't think Cale stands a chance."

Rinoa grinned and wrapped her friend in a quick hug. "Thanks, Quistis," she gushed. "I couldn't have gotten through this without moral support."

"That's what I'm here for."

Slipping on a pair of strappy black heels, Rinoa checked herself over in the mirror. Before she could make any adjustments, however, there was a knock on her door. "Oh no, that's him!" she cried, running a brush through her hair one last time. "Just a second!" she called to him, making her way to the door.

Throwing one last look to Quistis, who looked back and gave her a reassuring nod, Rinoa opened the door. Cale stood before her with flowers and a warm smile. Upon seeing Rinoa, his jaw slackened a little. "Wow," he breathed. "You look…amazing, Rinoa."

Rinoa smiled and blushed. "Thanks. You look nice, too."

He waved her off, then handed her the flowers. She smelled them and set them down on the table, thanking him again. "Hi Quistis," he called inside, and Quistis responded with a pleasant greeting. His gaze returned to Rinoa. "Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah, just let me get my purse."

She walked back to the bed and grabbed her purse. Rinoa mouthed a "thank you" to Quistis as well, then waved goodbye. Walking out of the room, she felt only the slightest bit of hesitation before she closed the door. There was no turning back now.

* * *

Siber wasn't sure he even wanted to open his eyes. Though he had regained consciousness, his head was throbbing so much that he was afraid it would only make things worse if he opened his eyes to look around. He didn't know exactly where the pain was coming from, or why the sensation was so intense, but he knew he was lying on something soft, and he couldn't seem to move. A rush of panic flew through him at that realization, and his eyes fluttered open. Just as he suspected, however, doing so only made things worse. 

His vision came into focus and found a pair of bright green eyes staring down at him curiously. Next, the person's shoulder-length hair came into view, and it suddenly became clear who this stranger was.

_…Laguna._

Siber let out a short yell, attempting to move away and still finding himself immobile. Laguna yelled out in surprise as well, jumping back behind a cart of medical supplies. "Why the hell are you here?" Siber growled, keeping his eyes on Laguna. "And more importantly, why the hell am _I _here?"

Laguna slowly rose, looking pale but somehow still delighted. "It's true," he said softly, before his voice level rose several octaves. "You ARE Squall! This is so amazing!! I didn't believe it until I heard you talk, but it's real! You're really Squall!"

He ran quickly to Siber's side and started to lean down to hug him, but a threatening noise from deep within Siber's throat stopped him. "Don't touch me," he barked. "You have the wrong person. My name is Siber, I belong to a mercenary group in Deling City. I was sent here to take down a group of anarchists. For some reason I'm here with you. Could you please remove whatever device is holding me so I can do my job and leave?"

Laguna's happiness had slowly deflated as Siber spoke. "You…you don't remember?" he said. "Night before last, you fought them, Sq…uh…_Siber_, and you won. You saved my life, too. Thanks for that, by the way."

Siber rolled his eyes. "Then why I am I _here_? And why can't I move?"

"Because they hurt you," Laguna answered simply. "One of them hit you from the back and knocked you out. Your neck is sprained, and you have a concussion. That's why you can't move. Odine wants you to stay the way you are so you don't do any further damage. You're in the medical lab of the Presidential Palace. You probably don't recognize it 'cause you only saw part of Esthar before you left, but there's a little waiting room right out there, and my office is really close to that, and then there's a whole other section I can show you later, once you're better…"

Siber would've shaken his head if he could've. "No, no, I can't stay here," he protested angrily. "Let me go, I'll be fine. I have to get back." He threw all of his effort into moving, and the table started to move with him, sending a shock of pain through his neck that made him wince.

"Stop that!" Laguna scolded. "Squall, do you want to hurt yourself? Stay sti-"

"My name _isn't _Squall!" he roared, making Laguna jump. His voice echoed in the room, bouncing through the silence in the following seconds. Laguna didn't move, feeling more than a little frightened.

The tension broke when the door to the infirmary opened and one of the aides stepped in. "President Loire?" he called into the room. "Kiros wanted me to tell you that Rinoa Heartilly is coming for lunch today. He thought you might've forgotten, with all the excitement."

Laguna's gaze remained on Siber, who hadn't been able to hide a reaction upon hearing Rinoa's name. It was still less of a reaction than Laguna would expect from anyone else, but it was typical of Squall. A certain brightness had briefly touched his eyes, like a light that had suddenly turned on and, just as quickly, went out. It was the last confirmation Laguna needed to be one hundred percent certain they had found Squall Leonhart alive.

"President Loire? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard ya," Laguna answered, his stare never leaving Squall. He still had trouble believing this was real. "Tell Kiros I remembered. But tell him not to say anything to her about what happened with our friend here, okay? She doesn't need to know."

The aide nodded and left, leaving them alone again. Laguna decided to take a different approach, pretending he really did think this person's name was "Siber." Which was kind of a stupid name, he decided. Squall was much better.

"Rinoa Heartilly is a friend," Laguna explained lightly, like he would to a stranger. "She goes to Balamb Garden, and she comes for lunch sometimes, it's really nice. You know, you should meet her when she comes, I'm sure she'd really-"

"No," Squall cut him off. "Keep her out of here."

"But why?" Laguna pushed, feigning confusion, which was unusual for him. Usually he didn't have to pretend. "Rinoa loves meeting new people. She's really nice, I promise. And pretty, too! Really pretty."

"I _know_," Squall told him, visibly frustrated. "I know."

"How could you know? You've never met her." He gasped a little too dramatically. "Unless…"

Squall didn't say anything in return, his eyes moving to the opposite wall while Laguna enjoyed his victory. "I knew it!" he exclaimed, jumping up and down. "We finally found you! Where have you been? What have you been doing? How'd you escape? Ah, it doesn't matter right now. Rinoa will be so happy!"

"You're not telling Rinoa anything," Squall snapped, his stare a cold one. "Not a word."

The air went out of Laguna's sails again. "Why not?" he questioned, thrown off by his adamant refusal to let Rinoa know he was alive. "She's been waiting for you, Squall. We all have, but she's been hurt the most. We want to know where you've been all this time, why you didn't come back in the first place, that kind of stuff. She has to know you're alive."

"She doesn't have to know anything," he said matter-of-factly. "And she's not going to."

Laguna pursed his lips stubbornly. "What if I tell her anyway?"

Squall's gaze turned icy. "I saved your life, didn't I? Tell her nothing, and you can consider us even."

Laguna opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again. He lifted a finger to make a point, then dropped it to his side. Heaving a sigh of defeat, he whined, "That's not fair!"

"It is fair," Squall quipped. "As soon as I recover, I'll disappear and you can go back to living the way you've been living. It's as simple as that."

Laguna's brow furrowed, trying to think of an argument. This didn't seem right, but what could he say? What could he do to get around this? It seemed he had no option but to obey Squall's demands, even if he didn't understand why Squall demanded them in the first place. What was he going to tell Rinoa?

* * *

Rinoa felt like she'd been waiting forever in Laguna's office for him to appear. She still felt anxious today, an entire day and a half after her date with Cale. She needed someone to talk to, and Laguna wasn't there yet. He'd never taken this long before, what could he possibly be doing? 

She opened her sack lunch and took out a sandwich, nibbling on the end. Although it was her favorite kind, the food might as well have been cardboard for how much she enjoyed it. Her mind was too preoccupied to think about anything else, and she needed someone to unload the thoughts on.

Finally, Laguna appeared at the side of the room, leaving the medical infirmary with his back to Rinoa. He was attempting to shut the door quietly when she exclaimed, "There you are!"

He jumped in surprise and ended up slamming the door instead, flattening his back against it and looking panicked. "Rinoa!" he said too loudly. "How long have you been there?"

"Too long," she retorted, shooting a playful glare his way. "I've been waiting forever, why were you in the medical lab?"

A tiny bead of sweat formed on Laguna's forehead. He was a terrible liar. How could he keep her from finding out something like this? "I've been sick," he lied quickly, hoping his voice would remain even. "I think I had…food poisoning last night. Yeah, that's what I had! Some bad fish from Balamb or something."

Rinoa's glare shifted to genuine concern. "Oh no," she said. "Well, are you okay? Maybe we should skip lunch this week so you can rest. I…I don't mind," she told him, though it wasn't true.

Laguna's stomach growled in protest at the thought of skipping lunch. Between caring for Squall and still managing his business as president, Laguna hadn't been eating much of anything, which was something he wasn't used to. "No, no, no!" he disagreed, moving away from the door and sitting down across from Rinoa. Skipping the opportunity to have an actual lunch would just be a waste. "Actually, Doc Odine said it'd be good for me to eat and drink. You know, to re-hydrogenate."

Rinoa raised an eyebrow. "You mean 're-hydrate'?"

"Yeah, that's what it was. Hey Kiros!" he shouted into the other room. "Bring me my lunch, will ya?"

There was a pause before Kiros yelled back, "Get it yourself, I'm busy!"

Rinoa giggled, and Laguna proceeded to pout. "What about Ward? Is he free?" he tried again.

"You've got legs! We're not your servants!"

Laguna let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine!" he answered immaturely and stood up. "I'll be right back," he told Rinoa.

She nodded and continued to giggle. This was why she enjoyed Laguna's company so much. He could always make her laugh when she needed it the most, whether he was trying to or not. He was always doing something crazy or silly.

A noise suddenly came from within the medical lab, catching Rinoa's attention. It sounded like some equipment had fallen on the floor, and a low curse had followed. The voice that had uttered the curse dropped the smile from her features. It stirred something within her, and she had the oddest feeling that she knew the voice inside. A voice she'd heard a thousand times before in her dreams...a voice she'd longed to hear again for months. Almost without thinking about it, Rinoa rose from her seat and moved toward the door, reaching out for the doorknob. She had to find the source of that voice. That beautiful, wonderful sound…

Before she could grab it, however, Laguna thrust his body in between Rinoa and the door, a sandwich in his hand. The surprise knocked her out of her reverie and back to reality. "Whoa, hey, you do _not _want to go in there," Laguna told her as convincingly as he could. "Seriously, it's nasty. I couldn't find a bathroom in time last night, and trust me, it's not pretty."

Rinoa's nose wrinkled, but her expression was questioning. "Really? 'Cause it sounded like someone was in there. They sounded…familiar."

"What? No, you wouldn't know them," he insisted. His natural voice level had gone up a few notches in his nervousness, making him far less believable. Subtlety certainly wasn't his forte. "It's just Niniko. He's, um...cleaning up," Laguna finished with a tense grin.

Highly suspicious, but unsure what to be suspicious of, Rinoa shook her head and shrugged. "Okay. I didn't think I'd ever hear Niniko swear, but I guess you never know." She started to walk back to the table, but not before catching the dirty look Laguna shot through the door.

Although very intrigued by the way Laguna was acting and curious to know what exactly he was hiding, she still wanted to talk to him about Cale. The subject was even more strange to talk about now that she'd heard that voice. She couldn't shake the feeling of longing it had created within her.

Laguna sat across from her and proceeded to wolf down his meal, causing Rinoa to wonder if he'd been taking lessons from Zell. "Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about," she started, figuring she should get it over with.

Between bites, Laguna replied, "What's that?"

Rinoa took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. "I went on a date with that guy from my class I told you about."

Laguna began to choke on his sandwich, coughing and sputtering. "Are you okay?" Rinoa asked, alarmed. She offered him a drink of her water, and he swallowed it down. Still coughing but somewhat recovered, he thought about what he could possibly say. Squall was in the next room, and Rinoa had no idea that he was hearing any of this conversation. Laguna had told her just last week to date again, and now she was, but he would give anything to take those words back now.

"Sorry," he apologized in a strained voice. "You said you went on a d-d-date? H-how was it?"

Rinoa started to answer, then stopped. "Laguna, are you sure you're okay? You're acting really…weird."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine!" he nodded emphatically. "Don't worry about me, I'm always like this. Tell me how your…_thing_...went." He couldn't manage the word "date" again.

His behavior still made her wonder, but Rinoa told him the answer anyway. "It actually went really well," she said, not sounding as pleased by that as most would've. "He's really sweet, and we talked the whole night. I just feel so guilty about it now. It was like I had a good time against my will, you know?" Her words were spilling out now. "I like Cale, I really do, I just wish I could let myself focus only on him. He's amazing and perfect, and I just won't let myself enjoy it. I put up this wall and I can't get around it."

She took a deep breath after her ramble and met Laguna's gaze, noting that he looked both slightly distressed and relieved at the same time. He didn't say anything after a few moments, and she decided to prompt him by asking, "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" he repeated distractedly. "Ah, about which part?"

Rinoa shrugged. "All of it, I guess. I mean, is it normal to feel so guilty? Should I go out with him again and see if it gets better?"

Laguna automatically shook his head. "You shouldn't go out with him again."

She tilted her head to the side a little at that, surprised by the response. It wasn't the answer she'd been expecting. Why the sudden shift in opinion? she wondered. Did he know something about Cale that she didn't? "Why not?" she asked, puzzled.

Guilt suddenly raged through Laguna. "Or maybe you should!" he offered. "If you like him, that's what really matters, right? Just don't rush anything. Or do, if you're ready to! But remember to take it slow. Just follow your heart."

Now thoroughly confused by Laguna's words, Rinoa tried not to show her frustration. Forcing a smile, she started to pack up her lunch. "You know, I should get going," she told him. "I just remembered I have a study session to get to. But thanks for the advice."

"Oh, that's right," Laguna said, pretending to be oblivious to her aggravation. "You have your SeeD exam this week, don't you? Well, good luck! I know you'll pass with colors flying."

Her smile grew a little more genuine. "Thanks. I'll see you later, okay?"

He rose with her and showed her to the door. "Okay. Bye, Rinoa."

When she was gone, Laguna shut the door and let out a huge sigh of relief. Though he knew she'd come for his discretion and he'd let her down, he was just glad the danger was no longer present. Now more than ever was certainly not the time for her to discover that Squall was alive. Laguna needed some time to digest this information without involving Rinoa. How he would do that, however, was beyond him right then.

Walking back across the room, he opened the door to the lab and stepped inside, where Squall was still lying on the medical bed. Laguna couldn't quite read his expression, but knew Squall must've overheard their conversation.

Upon hearing Laguna come in, Squall's eyes shifted to him. His tone was dripping with sarcasm when he commented, "…Smooth."

"Lemme alone!" Laguna replied defensively, folding his arms across his chest. "If you'd been quiet in here, she wouldn't have suspected a thing!"

Squall scoffed at that, pushing a piece of stray hair away from his face. "Right."

Laguna went quiet for a few moments, keeping his eyes on Squall. This still felt so surreal. It was the Squall he knew, yet…different. Inevitably, he had to ask the question he'd been wanting to ask since they found him. "Squall," he started carefully, stepping forward. "What happened to your face?"

Squall immediately went rigid, his frown deepening. "None of your business," he said lowly.

"Did it happen when you crashed?" Laguna persisted. That question was met with silence, which usually meant yes when it came to Squall. "I thought so," he murmured. "Won't you tell me where you've been all this time? Why you didn't come find us? We've been looking for you since Rinoa got back."

Squall didn't say anything for a long time, staring up at the ceiling in thought. "I already told you," he eventually answered. "I've been working in Galbadia. No one was supposed to find me."

"But why would you hide from us?" Laguna asked, sounding hurt. "Didn't you want to see Rinoa again? Didn't you want to see your friends?"

"No."

With a perplexed expression, Laguna shook his head. "I guess I just don't understand."

"What a surprise," Squall snapped. "Now could you leave me alone? I don't really feel like talking."

Laguna wilted even further. "Okay," he said, giving up. "I'll come check on you later. Dinner should be ready by six."

"Fine."

Laguna slowly turned toward the door and walked out, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.


	6. Chapter Five: Vesta

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Five: Vesta**_

The dreaded buzz of Rinoa's alarm clock jerked her awake, although she wanted nothing more than to sleep through the next week. Not only did she still feel strange about her lunch with Laguna a few before, but she also didn't know what to think about Cale, the test was tomorrow, and…

_Oh no_, she thought silently. _Today's the anniversary. _Pile that on top of every other mounting problem, and she was ready to sleep for the next month. At least life couldn't follow her there.

Rinoa pulled her pillow over her head and started to go back to sleep after hitting the "snooze" button on her alarm clock. She could afford a few minutes more. But just as she settled in, the phone on the desk next to her started ringing. With an aggravated groan, Rinoa picked it up and emerged from under the pillow. "Hello?" she mumbled, making an effort to keep any annoyance out of her voice.

"Hey Rinoa," Irvine greeted, sounding friendly, but also a little more reserved than usual. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry, darlin'."

"No, it's okay," she yawned, sitting up and attempting to concentrate. "What's up?"

"I was just wonderin' if you wanted to meet us down in the lobby after your classes so we can head up to Trabia together," he explained. "I wanted to see what works best for you."

She ran a hand over her face and paused before responding, "Umm…yeah, that should be fine. What time would that be? About two o'clock?"

"Around there, yeah."

"Okay. Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll be there."

It sounded like he was smiling when he replied, "Okay, see ya then. Bye, darlin'."

"Bye."

She hung up and heaved a sigh, awake enough now that there was no use in going back to sleep. Throwing the covers aside and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Rinoa had a strong feeling that today wasn't going to be a good day.

* * *

"Honestly, Laguna. Of all the crazy, stupid, irresponsible things you've done since I've known you, that has got to be one of the craziest. You snuck out of the palace and went _unarmed _to face a faction that wanted to rise against you to have a little chat? What were you _thinking_?" 

Kiros had been going on like this for several minutes, but Laguna wasn't really listening. He's stopped listening to what Kiros was lecturing about a while ago, and all of his thoughts were focused on Squall.

"Not to mention that you put the rest of us in danger, too," Kiros went on, then stopped. "Hey, are you listening?" he demanded.

"I just don't get it," Laguna burst, catching Kiros by surprise. "Why didn't he find us? Why didn't he at least tell Rinoa he was alive? Even if he didn't want to be part of their lives anymore, he could've at least told someone he was alive!"

Kiros's brow wrinkled. "Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"Squall," Laguna answered in a frustrated tone, as if Kiros should've been following. "He's acting like once he leaves Esthar, everything will go back the way it was, but it can't! I can't pretend he's dead every time I see Rinoa and go on lying to her! That's not fair, she deserves better than that, especially after all the searching we did. How can I lie to her? All she's ever wanted is closure, and now she's finally moving on, and I find Squall _alive_. That's just not fair! I can't disrupt her life like that, but I can't hide this from her, either! I just don't know what to do, I--"

"Okay, stop!" Kiros cut in, beyond irritated. "Back up. You know for certain it's Squall?"

"Yeah, he told me. I mean, first I had to coax it out of him, but…"

Kiros made a motion for silence, and Laguna obeyed. "No more talking," he decided. "Just nod or shake your head, okay?"

Laguna appeared offended at the childish way he was being treated, but nodded his head obediently anyway. "So you've confirmed it's Squall," Kiros said, more to himself than Laguna. "But you haven't told Rinoa he's here?"

Laguna shook his head.

"Does Squall know where Rinoa is?"

Laguna nodded.

"Doesn't he want to see her?"

Again, Laguna shook his head.

"But…why?"

Laguna's eyes shifted back and forth uncomfortably, unsure how to respond. "You can answer in words now," Kiros told him.

The words spilled forth like he'd been forced mute for weeks. "He told me I couldn't say anything to Rinoa, that I owed him 'cause he saved my life, and I mean, how can you argue with that? He did save my life, but he can't hold this over my head! It's too big, I can't handle it!"

A hand suddenly clamped over Laguna's mouth, and his muffled words kept going for a few moments before Kiros spoke again. "Okay," he started, trying hard to keep calm, "we'll figure this out. All right? Don't panic. Take a few deep breaths, and stop rambling. Okay?"

Laguna heeded his instructions and breathed in and out a few times. "Okay," he repeated. "I'm okay."

"Now, what _exactly _did Squall say?"

Laguna focused in order to keep his words concise. "He said he's been working in Deling City for some mercenary group. I guess he was sent here to take down that group that hates me."

Kiros appeared somewhat stunned. "What are the odds…?" he said aloud.

"What do you mean?" Laguna asked.

"I called for their mercenary services a few weeks ago," Kiros explained distractedly. "I would've summoned Balamb's SeeD, but I wanted it to be more of a low-key mission, and the group he's a part of is further underground than SeeD. I can't believe the group we chose was the group Squall was hiding in…"

"Ooh!" Laguna breathed, feeling the missing pieces come together. "That all makes so much more sense now!"

Kiros made a noise of confirmation, then went back to business. "What else happened while you were in there?"

"Well, I tried asking him why he didn't find us," Laguna replied, "but he wouldn't tell me. And when I mentioned Rinoa, he said I couldn't tell her anything."

Kiros nodded, taking the information in. He still couldn't believe Squall had survived that crash, but the proof was right there. "And his face?" he asked, somewhat reluctantly.

Laguna was quiet for a moment. "…In the crash."

"Right," Kiros replied somberly, looking away.

Laguna nodded slowly, then said in a slightly desperate voice, "What should we do?"

Taking a deep breath and wracking his brain, Kiros suddenly felt a plan strike him. "Don't worry," he reassured his friend. "I have an idea."

* * *

Squall's body still ached everywhere. His pain relieving medication had worn off a few hours before, and no one had come to give him more. Though he wouldn't admit that he was in pain, he was getting used to having the painkillers. He couldn't figure out where everyone had gone. Had he really scared Laguna off for good? No, that was too good to be true. 

He'd been doing too much thinking here. With nothing to distract him, his thoughts had turned to Rinoa more times than he could count, and it was starting to get to him. She'd sounded…different when she talked to Laguna. Maybe she sounded happy? Happy to be dating someone else? She had sounded disappointed when Laguna told her not to see the guy again. Maybe she really had moved on, like he told her to. _Good_, he thought silently. _That was what I wanted for her._

So why didn't it make him happy?

Then he thought about the other part of Laguna and Rinoa's conversation that had thrown him. Laguna mentioned the SeeD exam being this week, meaning that Rinoa was attempting to be part of Balamb's SeeD. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He knew she had the ability and drive, but he didn't like thinking about the dangerous missions she'd be sent on. If he wasn't there to protect her…

_Enough_, Squall chided himself. _I need to focus on getting back to Deling City._

This whole situation was ridiculous. Returning to the group injured from this mission would be embarrassing enough, but adding his "heroic" rescue of Laguna Loire and the discovery of his true identity was worse than he could've imagined. He could only hope that Laguna would keep his word and go on like nothing ever happened. Every indication of the past and present, however, proved otherwise. He wasn't sure how he would deal with those kinds of ramifications yet, but the best he could do was handle them as they came and hope he would be able to go back to his life in Galbadia.

"Oh my God!" The door exploded open as Laguna entered, causing Squall to flinch at the sudden interruption. "I'm so sorry! I forgot to tell Doc Odine to check on you! Are you in a lot of pain? Of course, you are, what was I thinking? I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"It's fine," Squall broke in, clearly annoyed by Laguna's hysteria. "It's not a big deal."

"Oh, don't be so modest! Here, I'll give you some right now while we wait for Odine." Laguna started to fill a needle with a clear liquid, and before long, he'd filled the entire thing with medication. Though he was no doctor, Squall was certain that was too much. His eyes widened as Laguna came near.

"Really," he protested, "I think you should wait for Odine. I've gotten through much worse than this, trust me. I'm okay, I really am…"

Laguna shook his head, preparing the needle. "Nonsense! I've seen him do this a million times, there's nothin' to it."

He neared Squall's arm, ready to press the needle to skin against Squall's continued protests. Just before it made contact, however, Doctor Odine appeared from behind.

"Vat are you doing?!" he exclaimed, ripping the needle away from Laguna. "Do you vant to keel him?!"

Confused and startled, Laguna watched Odine empty most of the needle and then give Squall the shot. Almost immediately, Squall relaxed, for more reasons than just relief of the pain. "Vat were you doing, you moron?" Odine demanded. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I thought I…I…" Laguna stammered, looking guilty. "I didn't think…"

"Zat's right!" Odine mocked. "You weren't zinking! Idiot!" His expression was disgusted when he turned to Squall, who felt much more comfortable and was ignoring the exchange. "How are you feeling? Any discomvert?"

Squall shook his head. "Not anymore."

"Good. I will check on you later, when zis imbecile iz gone." With one last check of Squall's vitals and another nasty glare thrown Laguna's way, he left the room in a huff and slammed the door behind him.

Laguna grimaced at the slam, then smiled sheepishly at Squall. "Oops?"

"_That's_ how you repay me for saving your life?" Squall said dryly. "Remind me never to do it again."

Laguna scratched the back of his head. "Sorry. I guess I got a little over-eager."

"Whatever," Squall sighed. "What are you doing in here? Besides trying to send me into a coma."

Laguna turned more serious. "I just wanted to tell you I'm not going to say anything to Rinoa. I promise. She never has to know. I can go on pretending you're Siber and I just met you. You're just the…mercenary guy who saved me."

Squall nodded once, keeping his expression neutral, though inwardly he was surprised that Laguna agreed not to say anything. "Fine."

Silence followed for a few beats while Laguna stood where he was, wringing his hands together. He'd made a promise now. He couldn't go back on a promise. Thankfully, Rinoa probably wouldn't be coming to Esthar until her test was over. That would make things a little easier.

When he didn't say anything more, Squall's gazed turned upward. "Something else?" he deadpanned.

"No," Laguna answered quickly, beginning to head for the door. "I'll leave you alone."

Squall closed his eyes, starting to slip into a more peaceful rest, and Laguna opened the door but lingered in the doorway. He waited, with his body turned to the side, looking back at Squall.

When he realized that Laguna still hadn't left, Squall said impatiently, "What?"

"Nothing!" he replied, starting to close the door. Before it shut, however, he opened it again and stuck his head in. "It's just…no, nevermind." Again, the door shut and he disappeared, only to reappear a few seconds later. "I just…"

Squall's jaw clenched. "_What_?"

"…You're really not going to tell me how you got back? How you survived, why you didn't contact us? How you recovered by yourself?"

As usual, silence met Laguna's ears. He expected it by now, but he was never sure how long he should wait to see if he would get an actual response. Two minutes? Three? Maybe four, just to make sure.

When still nothing came, he nodded slowly and said, "Right, okay. Well, I won't be in for a while, but holler if you need anything."

"Three months," Squall finally offered, his voice small.

Laguna opened the door wider, stepping inside. "Huh?"

"That's how long I was in recovery."

Excited by the prospect of actually hearing the story, Laguna shuffled back to Squall's side and sat down in a chair in front of him, ready to take it all in.


	7. Chapter Six: Grand Cross

**Author's Note:** Upon request, I'm posting this before the weekend. It's actually mostly due to the fact that I'm leaving for my sister's wedding and won't be back until the 9th, but I figured I'd post it since you guys seem to be really enjoying it. Thanks for reading, and please review!!

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Six: Grand Cross**_

_Squall couldn't ever remember being so scared._

_Every sound of the _Ragnarok's _alarms and signals was muffled. The massive sound of the ship hitting the water had been deafening and disorienting. He'd kept his foot on the brake until the very moment of the crash, which had made the damage slightly less extensive than it could've been. The right side of his face felt as if it was on fire, and it had felt that way since the ship started to enter the atmosphere. On the way down, while he sat in the pilot's seat, the heat from the atmosphere had started to burn his cheeks, and Squall had turned away to shield at least one side of his face. He couldn't take his foot off of the brake, so he had screamed through the pain all the way down to the water. Debris within the cockpit had hit him from every angle, cutting into his flesh with force and precision that he hadn't been able to escape. _

_Now that the ship had crashed, Squall wasn't sure how to get out. He hadn't even expected to live through the impact, and therefore didn't bother to form an escape route in case he lived. Now it was all he could think about. In front of him, the lift to the bottom portion of the ship looked like it had fallen through, and he wasn't even certain he'd be able to get out of the cockpit. But it was his only option. Water hadn't flooded the cockpit yet, and he moved to the lift, struggling to keep his balance. The ship creaked and moaned while he walked, moving back and forth with the waves. Squall fought off a wave of nausea and continued to the lift. _

_When he reached it, Squall looked down and saw water rising in the bottom level of the ship. His heart beat faster as he prepared to jump, attempting to ignore the searing pain on the side of his face and imagining how much worse that would feel once he hit the water. The fall was far enough that it wouldn't injure him physically, but he didn't know what kind of broken, scattered equipment he might land on. Praying for the best, he jumped off of the platform and hit the water hard. The water level was high enough that he didn't hit any of the equipment below, but the burns on his face felt the sting of the salty water. He was up to his calves in the ocean water, and he waded through the water out the nearest door. _

_Now, if he could reach the main entrance, he would be home free. Letting out a shaky breath, Squall closed his eyes and tried to fight off the pain he felt all over his face, preparing himself for the swim out. But in that moment of hesitation, a wave crashed through the entrance of the _Ragnarok_ and took him with it, slamming him against the opposite wall of the ship. A strangled cry escaped his throat as shocks of pain coursed through him, and he fought to release himself from the crushing weight of the door. When he'd shoved it aside, he worked against the current to the exit, unable to use his right side to swim. His right shoulder felt like it might be broken, but he continued to the open air by using the wall next to him for support. _

_After what felt like an eternity, Squall finally reached the open door and shoved himself out into the water, grabbing a loose piece of debris to set his right arm on and keep him afloat while he tried to swim for shore. He was barely aware of the fresh air that his lungs breathed in gratefully as he floated away from the wreckage. The water that splashed onto his face was a cruel reminder of the burns he'd sustained, every open wound on his body was now throbbing in the salty water, and there was a trail of blood from his forehead that threatened to obstruct his vision. It was pure instinct that kept him working against the current. The shore looked far, but it appeared that the ship had crashed relatively close to Esthar. _

_He attempted to cry out for help once or twice, but his voice was too ragged and weak for anyone to have a chance of hearing him. Esthar…that was where Rinoa had been taken. Would he see her again? God, how he wished he could see her now. He needed her with him. If only she knew how much he needed her. Her warmth, her smile, her touch…_

_His consciousness was beginning to fade, and his body was floating in the water rather than swimming. If only he could swim a little further. Just a little further, and he could reach her. He could hear her voice, telling him it was going to be okay. He just had to make it a little further._

* * *

Dusk had fallen on Balamb Garden, and Rinoa could hardly focus on the book in front of her anymore. It had been an emotional day. Though the service at Trabia had been a nice tribute, and the garden was beginning to look beautiful, it stirred up more emotions in Rinoa than she had expected. She'd been studying since she got back to keep her mind off of things, but too much was weighing her down. On top of the events of the day, the SeeD test was tomorrow. How could she possibly pull this off? 

A knock at the door surprised her out of her thoughts, and she opened it to find Cale standing in front her. She smiled and said, "Cale, I wasn't expecting you! How are you?"

With a grin stretched from ear-to-ear, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the hallway, closing the door behind her. "Come on," he said cryptically. "I have a surprise for you." Against repeated protests from Rinoa the entire way, he led her out of Garden and into the dark of night outside.

"Where are we going?" Rinoa hissed, her voice hushed in the darkness. "It's dark! Cale!"

He led her around the other side of Garden, and a few seconds later they were standing in front of a candlelit picnic. A picnic basket, two plates, silverware and glasses, two candles and a vase full of pure white daisies rested atop a soft cream-colored blanket, creating a serene spot bathed in the romantic glow of Garden. Rinoa gasped at the sight, all of her annoyance melting away almost instantly. "Oh, Cale…" she breathed.

Amused by her sudden change of attitude, Cale smiled and said, "Do you like it?"

She turned to him with a soft expression. "It's beautiful," she told him. "I love it."

"I hope you love the meal just as much," he commented, sitting down with her. "I cooked it myself."

"I'm sure I will," she said happily. "This is so sweet, Cale. You didn't have to do all this!"

He shrugged. "I wanted to. I heard you had a hard day, so I thought you could use some down time."

"It's definitely a good thing," Rinoa nodded. "Even though I should be studying."

"Rinoa, that's practically all I ever see you do," he remarked incredulously. "You're going to be fine, I promise. I think this will do you more good right now than studying, anyway. Just relax, okay?"

He was right, she decided. Tonight would be about truly letting herself go with Cale. She would follow her instincts and stop feeling guilty about being happy. A genuine smile lit her face at the thought. "Okay," she replied lightly. "I'm relaxed. Bring on the food, I'm starving."

With a laugh, Cale opened the basket and started to serve the meal. She watched him as he did so, feeling more at ease with him than ever before. _Maybe tonight is a new beginning_, she thought.

* * *

A long period of silence followed Squall's retelling of his escape from the _Ragnarok_. The story had riveted Laguna, and he hadn't moved an inch since Squall started talking. But it didn't seem quite complete, and Laguna pressed for more. 

"So how'd you end up in Deling City?" Laguna asked curiously. "I mean, in that kind of shape, someone must've rescued you, right? I couldn't move for weeks after I fell off that cliff, so I know how you feel."

"I woke up in Deling City," Squall explained. "Lon, the leader of the mercenary group I told you about, was the one who found me on the shore. I eventually told him who I was, and he gave me the option of returning home, or spending the rest of my life in secrecy with them. I chose to join them because it would've been too painful for everyone if I went back home at that point. I didn't want Rinoa to feel more pain than she had to, so I let her move on. If I had returned, it would've overcomplicated things."

To that, Laguna reacted strongly. "No, you're wrong!" he insisted, moving out of his seat and closer to Squall's side. "Didn't you hear her yesterday? She didn't even want to enjoy her date with Cale 'cause she's still holding on to you!"

Squall shook his head. "It doesn't matter, it's too late now. We're leading different lives, and it should stay that way."

"But you don't have to!"

"Yes," Squall stated firmly. "We do."

Laguna sagged. "I just don't get this. Don't you love her?"

Squall's eyes moved to stare pointedly at Laguna. "Didn't you love Raine?"

That hit a soft spot. The thought hadn't occurred to Laguna until now, but Squall was right. For the sake of argument and for Rinoa, though, Laguna shook his head. "That was different."

"How? You loved her, but you didn't go back because you swore your allegiance to the people of Esthar. You made your choice, and you couldn't go back on your word. We're not so different."

Laguna didn't have anything to say in response to that. His thoughts drifted to Raine, then moved to Rinoa's search for Squall. This _was _different. Raine had died before Laguna could go back and make things right. He didn't have a chance to be by her side and fix what was broken, but Squall did. If he didn't take advantage of that opportunity, he was more foolish than Laguna had been so many years ago.

"You should know she never gave up," Laguna finally said, his voice uncharacteristically serious. "We spent almost eight months searching for you. Going over every piece of evidence, every scenario in our heads. Despite everything going against us, I always knew she held out this hope that you were still alive somewhere. This hope that never faded. And she was right. But you won't give her the satisfaction of knowing that, will you? They say hope dies last, but sooner or later it finally dies. You're just gonna let that happen?"

Squall's eyes were averted, and he said nothing in response. "She wears your jacket, you know," Laguna continued. That caught Squall off guard, and he briefly looked at Laguna again. "She wears it all the time," he told Squall. "She came to me crying a few months ago because it didn't smell like you anymore. She said she wanted me to fix it, to make it come back…"

"Stop," Squall pleaded softly, an edge to his voice. He closed his eyes. "Please, just stop."

It was obvious he'd penetrated part of Squall's shell, and, feeling almost victorious, Laguna cleared his throat. "Right, well, I have a meeting I should get to. I'll be back later."

Laguna headed out of the room with a smirk, and as he closed the door, he heard a quiet sigh escape from Squall and saw him slowly bring a hand to his forehead.

* * *

Leaning back on her hands, Rinoa breathed out a long, contented sigh. "Wow," she commented. "That was really, really good, Cale." 

"Thanks," he replied with a soft laugh. "The way to a woman's heart, right?"

"Right," Rinoa giggled.

He cleared the plates and the basket, then scooted closer to her. Rinoa stayed where she was, feeling comfortable with him moving closer. He took a daisy from the vase he'd pushed aside and brushed her hair back with his fingers, placing the flower behind her ear. The action caused her heart to race for multiple reasons.

Cale looked at her for a long time, until she felt compelled to look away. "Why won't you look at me?" he asked in simple curiosity. "You never keep eye contact for very long."

"I'm embarrassed," she answered quietly.

"Why? Don't you know how beautiful you are?"

Rinoa brought her gaze up to meet his again. "I know it took us a long time to get here," he acknowledged, charming her into silence. "But I think it was meant to happen like this. It made us stronger, don't you think?"

The words struck a familiar chord within Rinoa, but she tried to push it to the back of her mind. Swallowing hard, she nodded. Her voice cracked when she responded, "Yeah, I do."

"Either way," he continued flatteringly, "I just feel lucky to be here with you. I don't deserve someone so beautiful or so intelligent, but I'm glad you gave me a shot anyway."

Rinoa managed to keep a smile, doing her best to keep her mind away from memories. Cale started to lean in to kiss her, and she knew she should've closed her eyes, but instead she looked up at the sky. Seeing nothing but a blanket of shining stars, she looked back to Cale and slowly leaned in to meet his lips in a tentative kiss. It was soft and sweet, but Rinoa felt nothing except a growing ache in her chest.

She started to pull away and looked up at the sky again, just in time to see a shooting star pass over them. Her breath caught in her chest at the sight.

_"Rinoa, remember the night we met?"_

_"Of course I do. But I don't see how that has anything to--"_

_"When you saw that star, what went through your mind?"_

_"Squall, I don't--"_

_"Just answer the question!"_

_"I thought…I thought that star we both saw meant something. It was more than coincidence that we saw it at the same exact moment… I looked over, saw you standing there, and something told me we should dance."_

_"Do you think it was supposed to happen like this?"_

_"…What?"_

_"You said you believed in fate. In destiny. Do you think fate had this in mind for us? Was it supposed to happen this way?"_

_"I don't think so. I mean…I hope not."_

_"Do you think we can change it?"_

_"Maybe. Maybe we can."_

Cale's voice jolted Rinoa out of the painful memories. "Rinoa?" he said worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Rinoa was still focused on where the star had been, but she shook her head. "No," she whispered, her eyes welling with tears. "I'm not. I'm sorry. I can't do this."

As emotion overcame her, Rinoa stood and ran back to Garden, leaving Cale where he was looking confused and hurt.


	8. Chapter Seven: Behold

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Thanks for the congratulations on my sister's wedding, it was really fun and really beautiful. Oh yeah, and did I mention that during the ceremony, they exited to the ending theme of FFVIII on horseback? Oh yes, that was all my doing. :D It completely rocked. I was the only person who knew how awesome it was to have FF music as they exited, but hey, as long as someone appreciates it, right?

(ahem) Sorry. I digress. Too much writing as Laguna. Anyway! This is the chapter you've all been waiting for, and I really hope you guys enjoy it. I worked really hard to get this moment just right, and I hope it lives up to whatever you all have imagined for it. Oh, and as for choice of music with this chapter, I found that the song, "Heal Over," by KT Tunstall goes very well with the moment you're about to read. So enjoy, and please review! Thanks for reading!

* * *

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Seven: Behold**_

The events of the previous night had put Rinoa on edge for the SeeD test. She'd taken the field exam that morning, and was now in the middle of her final test. She and her squad (which didn't include Cale, thankfully), had gone to Deling City to fend off a terrorist group within the city, and so far she felt confident about her skills. Though she didn't feel like herself, Rinoa found that fact to be working to her advantage. She'd detached herself emotionally, and it allowed her to focus solely on the mission itself.

Their squad leader had led the group partway through town already, and they'd fought and defeated several enemies along the way. The squad had presently stumbled upon a dilapidated structure in the far corner of the park that appeared unoccupied, but something about it captured Rinoa's interest. Even through her haze, something felt amiss.

Though the rest of the group was moving on and scouting the area for more enemies, Rinoa gravitated toward the suspicious-looking building. She wasn't sure what drew her to it, but as she approached, she could hear muffled voices. Whoever was talking sounded important, and the conversation sounded intense. Leaning up against the side of the building, Rinoa listened intently.

"I have called this meeting because an urgent matter has come to my attention," a low voice said, his tone cool. "It seems no one has heard from Siber since he left for Esthar, and it's been nearly a week since he was assigned. I've spoken to our contact within Esthar who assigned him to the mission, but he seemed unaware of any foul play within the city. Anyone have any ideas what might've happened? Has anyone heard any news?"

Nothing was said directly to whom Rinoa assumed was the front runner of the people who met here, but other voices close to the door could be heard muttering under their breath. She thought she heard one say, "Pity if he's dead," in a sarcastic tone, and another commented snidely, "The cocky ones always go first." Rinoa was appalled by their insensitivity, and hoped whoever they were talking about didn't know how this group felt about him.

"He is one of us," the cool voice continued, but noted that cool was quickly turning to chilly. "And since he _is _one of us, perhaps one of the best of us, we owe it to him to find out what happened. I'm formulating a search group to send to Esthar."

To this, a riotous response erupted. Rinoa guessed that five to seven voices had called out some form of protest, creating a large stir within the surrounding area. Rinoa was glad no one was around. The shouting continued a few moments longer before the leader called them to order by yelling for silence. When he did, his voice was so commanding and threatening that it gave Rinoa chills. She couldn't imagine the look of the man who possessed that kind of voice. It had thrown every one of them into fearful silence.

"One at a time," the leader demanded. "Austra, you first."

"You're going back on your own rules!" the one called Austra accused immediately, with a few voices of agreement backing him up. "When Maldi and Jama disappeared in Trabia, you didn't think twice about leaving them behind. You've always said we're mercenaries, not friends. It's every man for himself."

Others began to chime in again. "Stop," the commander said in an irritated tone. He seemed frustrated, like he knew they were all making valid points but didn't want to admit it. "To be fair," he attempted, "Siber was on a solo mission. He didn't have backup in case he got into trouble."

"Even more reason!" a different voice argued. "You trusted him with a solo mission, and he failed. You've always said that anyone who fails you doesn't deserve to come back here. Siber failed, and he doesn't deserve our time and energy."

The leader was silent for a long time after that. Rinoa wondered just what "Siber" had done to make his fellow mercenaries hate him so much. She certainly hoped no one talked about her this way behind her back. They'd go searching for her if she went missing, wouldn't they?

Finally, the strong voice spoke again, sounding defeated. "It seems I've been overruled," he said. "The laws stand. Unless he returns within a week, Siber stays where he is."

None of the other group members were daring enough to celebrate, but Rinoa got the feeling they probably wanted to. She thought she could hear a sadness in the leader's voice as he spoke the last sentence, however. Rinoa couldn't help feeling a little sad herself, though she really had no reason to be.

They started to discuss other missions, and Rinoa lingered a few seconds longer before catching up with her squad and heading deeper into the city.

* * *

Several battles later, Rinoa's squad had finished their part of the SeeD mission and they were heading back to the train that would take them home. Her body was sore and tired after a full day of fighting, and she couldn't wait to sit down. She felt confident that the mission had gone well, aside from some points she would lose for wandering away from the group, but she would still feel nervous until she knew how she'd done.

Rinoa's group reached the station and started to board the train, but she was pulled aside before she could start up the steps. Letting out a yelp of surprise, Rinoa found herself being dragged away from the main group by Xu.

"What's going on?" Rinoa asked breathlessly, baffled by the sudden move.

"Listen," Xu said gravely. "We believe there's a connection between the group in Deling City we're after and a group in Esthar. We're sending a handful of SeeD candidates there to check it out, and you're one of them. We'll put you in a car that will take you to a boat headed for Esthar. You're to find President Laguna Loire and receive further instructions from him there. This will be part of your test."

The overload of information was making Rinoa's head spin. Since when was there an added portion to the SeeD exam? She couldn't remember ever reading anything about something like this. At least it involved Laguna, she thought. That might make things a little easier. But the idea of any terrorist group in Esthar made her nervous for Laguna. Why hadn't she been made aware of this before?

"Um…okay…" she stumbled, unsure what she was agreeing to. "Where should I go, then?"

Xu led her around to the other side of the train where a car was waiting. "This car will take you to the boat," Xu explained. "You're arriving separately from the other SeeDs, but you'll meet up with them at the Presidential Palace. Understood?"

_No, not understood_, she thought, feeling a headache beginning to develop. _Still very confused. _"Understood," she replied anyway.

"Good," Xu said, a smile finding its way to her features. An odd and sudden shift from her serious mood, Rinoa noted. "We'll see you back in Balamb."

Something was off, but Rinoa couldn't pinpoint what it was. She slowly approached the car and opened the door to the backseat. "Oh, and Rinoa," Xu called, stopping her before she got inside.

"Yeah?"

Xu's eyes seemed to have a hopeful glint in them when she said sincerely, "Good luck."

* * *

Rinoa's couldn't help feeling apprehensive as she neared the Presidential Palace. Esthar was bustling around her like nothing was wrong, when she felt just the opposite. Her emotionally detached façade had worn away with the strangeness of this "side mission" to Esthar, and now her guard was up. She never knew what to expect from things Laguna was involved in.

Stepping into the main foyer of the palace, her guard heightened even further when she found not a soul in sight. No fellow SeeDs, no presidential aides, no Kiros, Ward or Laguna. What in the world was going on?

"Hello?" she called, walking around the room and listening to her voice echo. "Is anyone here?"

Her shouts were answered with a crashing sound that came from the medical lab; a much larger sound than the one she'd heard the last time she was here. It sounded like glass had shattered, and the eerie silence continued after the echoes faded away. With no one to stop her, Rinoa walked toward the door and slowly opened it. What she saw in the far corner of the room that day would be an image she would remember for the rest of her life.

Her heart stopped when she saw him. Though his appearance had been altered, she would know his face anywhere. He was sitting up, his eyes wide, looking ready to bolt at any second. His face had changed. It was different…it was disfigured. But he was still beautiful. He was beautiful and _alive_, right there in front of her eyes.

Rinoa waited a few moments to make sure it was real; to be certain it wasn't a dream. Tears she wasn't aware of were streaming down her cheeks. It was difficult to breathe, but she finally managed in an uneven whisper, "S…Squall…?"

Hearing her speak his name seemed to bring Squall out of his initial shock. His mind was reeling, unsure how she'd found him and how he would respond. Simply seeing her was enough to strike him dumb. He didn't think it was possible, but she'd gotten more beautiful in the last year. Interesting, he noted, that his appearance had grown uglier while she continued to blossom into a more stunning woman every day. Her hair was longer and darker, she'd gotten taller, and she seemed thinner. There was one distinct difference, however: her eyes weren't as soft as he remembered. It wasn't a drastic change, but the innocence had left her eyes, and, he added silently, it was his fault that it was gone. That thought physically pained him to realize, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He couldn't force himself into action.

When Squall didn't respond, Rinoa took a small, shaky step forward. "Is…is it really…?" she fumbled through the lump in her throat. "How can you…?" She couldn't seem to form a full sentence.

He finally managed to croak out words. "Rinoa, I…"

Without waiting for anything else, a sob came from within Rinoa and she rushed over to him, throwing her arms around his body. She buried her head in his shoulder, next to the neck brace he was wearing. She continued to cry, and after a few moments, Squall slowly wrapped his arms around her.

He closed his eyes, letting her familiar warmth wash over him. He wanted to keep her away, to keep her from the information she was about to discover, but he couldn't bring himself to let go. She was there, and she was real, and…God, he was still in love with her. For so long, it had been easier to pretend he was living a completely separate life, and she wasn't a part of it. She didn't exist in the world of mercenaries and darkness, but she had always existed within him, no matter where he went or where he lived. She was a part of him. That much he couldn't deny now.

"Don't cry," he implored quietly. "Please don't cry."

"I just…I can't…" Rinoa stammered. "I just can't believe this." She looked up at him through blurry vision. "I mean I can, I always felt like you were still alive, but…" She trailed off and placed a hand on the smooth side of his face. "I can't believe this is real."

Squall swallowed hard and tried to ignore the rush he felt at the small touch. He still said nothing, knowing that whatever he said next would shatter this moment. This couldn't end well.

Rinoa moved her hand to the back of Squall's head and gently pulled his forehead to hers, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. His heavenly smell washed over her in gentle waves she basked in, having been without that smell for what felt like so long. Pulling away, she said softly, "How did they find you? And when? Where have you been all this time?"

When Laguna had asked those same questions, Squall had responded with annoyance and indifference. When Rinoa asked them, all he wanted to do was escape. Once she found out the truth, it would kill her. How could he tell her the truth when she was looking at him that way? How could he look into her eyes and knowingly break her heart?

"You don't have to answer now," she told him on second thought. "It doesn't matter. What matters is you're here, and we're together, right?"

"Rinoa," Squall started, avoiding eye contact, "you should know what happened. It's not what you think."

She laughed a little. "What do you mean? You crashed, someone was taking care of you, and now you've recovered and you contacted Laguna. Something like that, right?"

He was still for a long time before shaking his head slowly. Rinoa started to pull back from his body, betrayal stealing onto her features. "I've been in Deling City," Squall told her, speaking every word deliberately. "I've been working with a mercenary group there."

Betrayal was soon morphing to horror. "For how long?" Rinoa breathed.

"…Nine months."

Rinoa drew in a sharp breath and shook her head vigorously. It couldn't be true. He'd hidden from her for the past _year_? He'd let them all go on believing he was dead while he worked in Galbadia? How could he do that to them? How could he do it to _her_? She struggled for air, pacing the floor in front of him.

"And how long…how long have you been in Esthar?" she demanded, on the verge of a breakdown.

Squall shifted. "Six days. I was sent here on a mission to take down a group of anarchists. Laguna got in the way, and when I stepped in to help, I was wounded. They've been taking care of me."

Rinoa stopped where she was and her hands flew to her forehead, which felt ready to explode. Before she could respond, the door to the lab opened and Laguna stepped in with Quistis, Zell and Irvine in tow. The three immediately donned the same looks of shock and surprise as Rinoa had minutes before, but Rinoa didn't notice them. Her gaze shot to Laguna, and Laguna automatically knew why.

"You kept this from me?" she shouted. "He's been here since last week, and I had to find out like _this_?"

Laguna moved farther into the room, distressed by her anger. "Rinoa, you don't understand…"

"And you!" she continued, turning back to Squall, who was being peppered with questions from the others as they filtered into the room. "You let us believe you were dead for a _year_! How selfish are you?"

Tears were still falling down her cheeks, but she didn't wait for Squall's answer. She pushed past Laguna and fled the palace, back to Balamb as fast as her feet would carry her.


	9. Chapter Eight: Lunation

**Author's Note:** All right, here comes another chapter! Glad you guys enjoyed the "moment." You'll all have to wait to find out more information about Cale and what will happen there, but this chapter should keep you guys biting. Please review, hope everyone's doing well! The next chapter is a long one, and I'll probably post it on Saturday, which might be my last day at work. Thanks for your patience!

* * *

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Eight: Lunation**_

Two days had passed since the SeeD test, and neither Rinoa nor Squall had spoken to Laguna. They hadn't spoken to each other, either, and Squall was almost ready to be released from Esthar. His plan hadn't produced the ideal result, but Laguna was at least glad that Rinoa knew the truth. Hopefully, once he explained further, she would forgive him. He didn't expect the same from Squall, but he had kept his promise while still being loyal to Rinoa. He could live with that.

Doctor Odine had ordered Squall to stay for one more day, though truthfully it wasn't necessary. Laguna wanted to give Rinoa one more day to change her mind, even though Squall would be irritated further by the hold up. Perhaps it was a good thing Squall was giving him the silent treatment, Laguna thought.

Laguna sat at his desk looking over a few reports and signing documents. He'd been neglecting his presidential duties since this whole mess started, and a frighteningly large pile had accumulated on his desk. Kiros had forced him to work on thinning the stack, and now he was reluctantly doing just that. But it was difficult for him to concentrate on business any time, let alone when his thoughts were in so many different places.

The phone to the right of him started ringing, and Laguna jumped at the sudden noise. "Aw man, I smeared my signature!" he whined to the silent room. Scowling at the phone, he picked it up and tried dabbing at the smudged ink as he said grumpily, "Hello?"

_"Good afternoon, President Loire. How are you?"_

His scowl vanished when he recognized the voice on the other end. "Oh, hi Headmaster Cid! I've told you to call me Laguna."

_"Right, my apologies. Listen, Quistis informed me that Rinoa didn't take well to the news. I'm not surprised, but I wanted to ask you, does she know who set her up?"_

"I'm not sure," Laguna answered honestly. "She probably figured it out, since there were no other SeeDs here, but I think she thinks I thought…er, well, I think she blamed me for the whole thing." To that, Laguna heard Cid sigh heavily.

_"I was afraid of that. I guess I'll have to tell her myself."_

"No, no, no," Laguna protested immediately. "Don't tell her you helped set it up. I'm the one who made you do it, and she feels like she's been betrayed enough already. It'll be easier for her to forgive me if she thinks I arranged it all by myself."

_"Are you sure? I don't want to lie to her."_

"You're not lying to her, you're just not telling the whole truth. It works, trust me. I'm in politics," Laguna assured Cid, who responded with a chuckle.

_"I suppose if you think it's best. I still can't believe it all myself. Quistis, Zell and Irvine were so happy when they came back here, though they're angry with him for hiding it all this time. The rest of Garden is still in shock as well. We've postponed the SeeD Ball until Tuesday because of the stir it's caused. Rinoa didn't even come to receive her grade report after the exam."_

Laguna suddenly became excited. "She passed? Really?"

_"Her score was nearly perfect. She did very well."_

Laguna let out a whoop of celebration, feeling pride swell within him. "That's so great!" he exclaimed happily. "I knew she could do it."

"_I did, too. But none of it matters while she's this upset about Squall."_

Laguna nodded, trying to maintain his optimism. "They'll work it out," he said with a nod. "I know they will."

_"I hope you're right. I'll keep you posted. Good day, Pres…uh, Laguna."_

Laguna grinned. "Bye, Headmaster."

He softly put the phone back down and found that he couldn't keep the proud smile off of his lips. Rinoa's hard work had paid off. His only disappointment was that she wasn't able to fully appreciate her achievement because of Squall's return. Rising from his seat, Laguna walked over to the lab and slowly opened the door, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to face. Squall didn't acknowledge his appearance, but Laguna wasn't deterred.

"I know you're still mad at me," Laguna started, looking like a child being punished as he stood by the door. "But I didn't do anything wrong. You told me not to tell Rinoa you were here, and I didn't. She found out on her own."

"You set her up," Squall snarled, his eyes suddenly fixed on Laguna with a deathly stare. "You knew what would happen. Well, congratulations, you just hurt her a lot more than she had to be hurt."

That cut Laguna a little. He really felt like he'd done the right thing, but would Rinoa have preferred ignorance? Maybe, he reasoned, if he hadn't found out first. It would've made things much worse if he'd known all along and never told her the truth. If someone knew that Raine was alive somewhere and in hiding, he would definitely want to know about it.

"She had to know the truth," Laguna defended. "She's my friend, and we searched for you together. I _owed _her the truth, you know?"

"No, I don't know," Squall retorted angrily. "What I do know is that my cover is blown, I might not have a life to go back to in Galbadia, I have no future in Balamb, and it's all your fault. That's what I know."

Laguna eyes searched the room as he struggled to find an argument. With a grimace, he attempted, "You still have your health…?"

"Get out," Squall snapped.

Laguna winced and turned away, stopping while his back was turned to Squall. "She passed, you know," he said softly. "She's a SeeD. You should be proud of her."

Squall took his time before murmuring stoically, "I am."

* * *

Rinoa now felt she'd made no progress in the last year. Despite her best efforts, she was back in the same place she'd been after Squall's disappearance. She sat in her room with the curtains drawn, fresh out of tears and patience. The entire discovery of Squall had been emotionally draining, and she was still unsure if it was real.

Rinoa had imagined that scenario thousands of times in her head, but not one of them had resulted in the hurtful truths she'd learned in Esthar. Every reunion with Squall she imagined had always been tearful, joyful, even bittersweet, but never painful. She couldn't understand why he would let her go on believing he was dead. After everything that happened in space, didn't she at least deserve an explanation? Even if he didn't want to be with her, she'd grieved so long without knowing that he was out there the whole time.

Then there was Laguna, another person she thought she trusted. He'd kept this secret from her for days, then obviously set her up to find out on the day of her SeeD test. Of all people, she would have expected Laguna to tell her what was going on right after he found out. The fact that he hadn't felt like a slap in the face after all they'd been through together with the search.

Thinking about this over and over wasn't making Rinoa feel any better. A soft knock at the door caught her attention, and she trudged her way over to it. "Who is it?" she called through a croaky voice.

"It's Quistis," came the response.

Rinoa unlocked the door and opened it to her friend. Quistis, Rinoa noticed, had a new brightness in her eyes. Since she'd returned from Esthar, Quistis's demeanor seemed lighter, even though she was upset with Squall as well. It seemed just knowing he was alive had woken something within Quistis, and Rinoa wished she felt the same way.

"Hi," Quistis greeted with a small wave. "How are you?"

Rinoa laughed, though nothing was really funny. "How do I look?" she asked rhetorically.

"Right," Quistis responded. "Can I come in?"

Letting her pass, Rinoa shut the door and locked it again. "How are _you_?" Rinoa inquired, following Quistis into the room. "I haven't seen you guys since you came back from Esthar."

Quistis found a nearby chair and sat down, letting her memory float back to the moment they'd seen Squall alive. "I'm…doing all right," she told Rinoa honestly. "Everything still feels pretty surreal, you know? It's ironic that we would find him now, too, since it seemed like all of us were finally getting on with our lives and getting used to things the way they were."

"I think you'd call it cruel irony," Rinoa added with a scoff, flopping down on the bed and lying on her belly facing Quistis. "You know what else is cruelly ironic? We found him alive the day before the anniversary of his 'death.''"

Quistis's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness, I hadn't thought about that," she remarked in disbelief. "Fate has it out for us, doesn't it?"

Rinoa made a noise of agreement and turned her eyes away, contemplating how true that question actually was. Curiosity was prevalent in her eyes when she moved them back to Quistis's. "What did he say to the three of you while you were there?" she asked quietly, promising herself not to let the answer make her angry again.

"He was pretty distracted, to tell you the truth," Quistis explained. "After you left, he kept asking us questions about you and ignoring the ones we were asking. The most we got out of him was that he's been working as a mercenary in Deling City, and that's how he ended up in Esthar. He was pretty ambiguous on the details of where he was going once he left Esthar, though."

Closing her eyes and resting her head in her hands, Rinoa mumbled, "That's what I thought." Her head lifted again. "So we're just supposed to go on like nothing is different?" she nearly demanded, though her anger wasn't directed at Quistis. "He just expects us to go on like nothing's happened?"

Quistis moved a little closer and shrugged. "That's Squall's logic, you know that. He thinks everybody should have this switch that turns their emotions on or off. But I think things are different when it comes to you, Rinoa. You've always been the only person who could get through to him, and this is no exception. You should've seen him after you left. I really think you should go talk to him yourself."

"No," Rinoa objected immediately. "He lied to me, Quistis. In the worst way someone can lie! How can I forgive him for that?"

"He lied to all of us," Quistis corrected calmly. "And I didn't say you had to forgive him. I just think you should talk to him and get the whole story. Not just for yourself, but for the rest of us, too."

Rinoa swallowed hard and considered that. She wasn't the only victim here, and if she was the only person Squall would talk to, then that was better than never knowing, but seeing him again and remaining rational might prove to be difficult. She looked at Quistis again, a question in her expression. "Did you see what happened to his--"

"Yes," Quistis affirmed before Rinoa could finish. "It was hard to miss. I didn't think it was possible, but it seems like he's even harder to reach now than he used to be."

Fresh tears she didn't think she had left were gathering in Rinoa's eyes. "I just want to know what happened to him," she said softly. "What he went through, where he's been. Why he chose solitude over us."

"So do I," Quistis told her, reaching over and giving Rinoa's hand a squeeze. "But in order to find out, you have to go to him. I know it won't be easy, but you'll never feel better if you don't get some answers."

Rinoa bit her lower lip and averted her gaze, knowing Quistis was right. When she said nothing in response, Quistis gave her one last reassuring squeeze of the hand and stood, headed for the door. She stopped and turned, however, when Rinoa called her name.

"Yeah?" Quistis answered.

"…Thanks."

Nodding once, Quistis replied simply, "Just do what you have to do."

* * *

It took every ounce of willpower Rinoa had to get to the outskirts of Esthar, and she wasn't sure she possessed the strength to go the rest of the way. Not only would she be facing Squall, but Laguna as well. She was still fuming at Laguna, and would've preferred not to see him at all, but Rinoa's anger with him was much easier to handle than the anger she felt toward Squall.

However, she couldn't run from problems and conflict forever, and Quistis was right. She would never feel at peace with all of it until there was true closure. With newfound resolution, Rinoa started to walk into town, her steps still heavy with dread. She'd been going over every conversation with Squall in her head, trying to find some way to talk to him without losing control of her emotions. So far, she'd been unsuccessful with every attempt.

Something in the distance caught Rinoa's wandering attention, and she squinted to see it more clearly. A shot went through her chest upon recognition of the crimson red color and shape of the object.

The _Ragnarok. _

It was fully restored and looked brand new, even from a distance. Without even thinking about it, her feet started to walk toward the ship. She had the sudden, irrational feeling that she needed to be back inside. To be in one place that felt like warm memories, even though it held one very cold memory she preferred not to think of at all costs.

Within a few minutes, Rinoa's walking had turned to jogging, and she'd reached the site. Nostalgia started to well up within her as she took in the sight of the gigantic ship. This was familiar, this was right. It was back to its original form, just as she remembered it. The ship Squall had rescued her in. The ship where they'd made all those sacred promises. A sanctuary of memories and moments Rinoa never wanted to forget.

Walking up the steps and into the belly of the ship, Rinoa's heart started beating faster. Every familiar sight and sound sent waves of bittersweet feelings over her that she struggled to keep inside. This hallway was the one Squall had led her down on their way to the rescue pod. That same rush of panic she'd felt then stole through her, and she continued on, up the stairs to the second level in the ship. This was where they'd gotten in and out of their suits; once while she was at her happiest, and once while she was feeling the most lost and confused.

Turning back the other way, Rinoa walked through another door and headed directly into the small area with the lift to the cockpit. _The cockpit_, she thought silently. _The place we spent the most time together._

After taking a moment to muster up the courage, she stepped onto the lift and held a quivering hand over the switch. Pulling it down, she instantly felt a little twinge of regret when it started upward. If she was trying to punish herself, she thought in passing, this was the way to do it.

Though short in actuality, the time it took to get up to the next area of the ship was agonizing. She wanted to get it over with to stop the shaking her body was doing. She was convinced that if she just saw it and went on with the rest of her walkthrough in the ship, things would be fine. When Rinoa finally did reach the cockpit, however, she found that the opposite was the case.

Standing near the pilot's seat, with his back turned to her, was Squall.


	10. Chapter Nine: Music of the Spheres

**Author's Note:** So, I know I just updated yesterday, but this is one of the last opportunities I'm going to have for full internet access, and I wanted to get it up now while I have the chance. This is probably going to cut down on my review count, but I don't really care. This is one of my favorite chapters, and we're nearing the end, so I want to get as close as possible before I leave for Boise.

This story is already finished, I'm simply editing and posting what's already been written, but I hope that if anyone has suggestions on how they'd like the story to end, or how they envision the ending, they'll provide them. I'm always open to a different kind of ending if I like what someone's come up with. But we're a chapter away from the epilogue, so please enjoy this long, lovely chapter. I'm not going to say if the ending I have is happy or not, to keep the suspense going. :D Thanks for reading!

* * *

_**Emersion  
**__**Chapter Nine: Music of the Spheres**_

_Music of the Spheres: __an ancient doctrine originating with the Greeks that implies that the universe and everything in it is in harmony_

Just like they'd promised, Squall and Rinoa stood together in the cockpit of the _Ragnarok_, just exactly where they'd stood a year before. And just like it had been a year before, he was still shut off from her. She still didn't understand him, and they were still in opposite places. It was as if time had changed nothing between them.

It was still difficult to believe he was real. So many days and nights, he'd existed only in her dreams, and still it felt like she was in one. Even though every instinct was telling her to run away, Rinoa's feet moved forward, and the click of her boots on the floor caught Squall's attention. He turned, and his eyes immediately softened, if only for a moment. He could never hide the happiness he felt when he saw her.

Before he could say anything, Rinoa approached with her hands behind her back and commented with a quiet, dry laugh, "This is interesting, isn't it? Us here again in the cockpit?" She stopped a few feet from him and added skeptically, "You know why, right? You remember?"

He didn't respond, keeping his eyes low. Rinoa leaned her head down a little to try and catch his gaze, prompting, "Our promise…?"

"I remember," he admitted. Then softer, "Of course I remember."

Rinoa suddenly felt less anxious and more confident in front of him, and her resentment started to show. "But I guess it's not _exactly _the same, since neither of us really intended on meeting the other here. It's more of a fluke, really, isn't it? You never planned on keeping that promise."

Anger flashed in Squall's expression at the accusation. "It wasn't like that, Rinoa. Don't pretend to know everything about the situation."

Rinoa laughed hollowly at that. "I _never _pretended that," she retorted. "You know why? Because you never told me anything! You didn't tell me that you knew the Lunar Base would pull you out of orbit, you didn't tell me you knew I would definitely be going back without you, and you conveniently forgot to let me know you were _alive_ after all this time! What kind of person does that, Squall?!"

"Could you just--"

"Especially when you knew how much I cared about you," Rinoa went on, letting it all come out at once. "You had to have known how much it hurt me to lose you, and how much guilt I felt about making it back without you. You had to know!"

"Rinoa," he barked, stopping her continuous stream of heated words, "could you just let me explain?"

Her expression remained stubbornly furious. "Why should I?"

"Because it might help you understand why I didn't come back."

Rinoa's curiosity overcame her contempt, and she nodded. "I doubt it," she told him, "but fine. Explain."

Squall launched into his telling of the crash and what he remembered, in mostly the same fashion as he'd told Laguna. He stopped in the same place as well, mostly because Rinoa cut in before he could go on.

"That doesn't explain why you didn't come back," she stated with a shake of her head. "Once you recovered, you could've at least told someone you were alive."

"Let me finish," he ordered her sternly, then paused before he continued, "I was taken in by a mercenary leader who called himself 'Lon.'"

* * *

_When Squall opened his eyes, nothing was the same. His vision was blurred, he could barely feel the right side of his face, and every bone in his body seemed to ache. Why was he in such pain? What happened? The last thing he remembered was leaving Rinoa on the pilot deck. What had happened after that?_

_The room he was lying in was dim, and he knew even with his limited vision that it wasn't a place he recognized. He suddenly wondered if he'd been captured, but who would want to capture him? And he wasn't bound, from what he could tell. Where could he possibly be?_

_"My God, he's going to make it," a quiet, unfamiliar voice said in disbelief. Fear flooded through Squall, unsure what to expect from whoever else was in the room with him. The voice didn't sound malicious, but that didn't necessary mean he was safe. _

_Squall's left eye started to come into focus while the right continued to be uncooperative, and all at once, the strong face of a man appeared above him. Squall would've drawn back if he was more aware of his surroundings, but all he could really think was that this face was intimidating, even to Squall. "Welcome, lucky stranger," the man greeted, sounding inviting, yet…powerful. "My name is Lon, it's nice to see you awake."_

_Squall struggled to form words. His throat felt like sandpaper, and a dry rasp was all that came out at first. "Lon" stepped back from Squall's view and returned with a glass of water, and within a few moments, his thirst was quenched. Squall tried again with, "Where am I?"_

_"You, my friend, are in a hideout that belongs to the group in Deling City that I lead. A group that accepts any job, anywhere for a price. One of the most elite groups around, in fact, not to brag."_

_Squall's forehead crinkled. "A mercenary group?"_

_Lon shrugged. "More or less. We don't give ourselves a title, really, but we seek out and recruit the best fighters. Anyway, that's beside the point. Tell me, what is your name?"_

_This was all happening too fast, and Squall had too many questions. "How did you find me?" he asked. "How long have I been here? Where's Rinoa?"_

_Now it was Lon's turn to look confused. "Rinoa? I'm sorry, I don't know a Rinoa. I found you near that horrid city of Esthar, washed up and in seriously bad shape. I'm afraid I found you alone, though. No one else was around."_

_Squall closed his eyes, beginning to remember bits and pieces of his escape from the ship. He remembered her face coming to his mind before the darkness. Would he would ever see Rinoa again? If she didn't know where he was now, it was possible that he would never get back. Though he dreaded the answer, Squall repeated, "How long have I been here?"_

_Lon hesitated. "About three months."_

_It was a blow worse than the one he'd felt when the ship crashed. Three months had gone by, and he'd missed all of it. Rinoa probably believed he was dead by now, along with everyone else. She would be moving on with her life, letting him go. What would happen if he disrupted that now? _

_"I brought you here after I found you," Lon continued. "You had more than a few broken bones, you were burned all the way down the right side of your face, and your vision is probably a little blurry on the right side because of those burns. Most of your sight in that eye should come back within six months or so. I honestly wasn't sure you'd live for a while there, but it looks like you're going to be okay. There's something special about you, I can feel it. That's why I held out hope that you would wake up."_

_Most of the words didn't resonate with Squall. He was focused on Rinoa, and what kind of life she might be leading now. Would she be waiting for him? Would she have accepted what happened by now? The thought that she could've moved on already was too much to consider. _

_Lon's voice came back to Squall when he said, "You never told me your name."_

_Squall's eyes slowly moved to his rescuer's, wondering if he should divulge that information to a complete stranger from Deling City. But if this Lon was kind enough to take care of Squall for three months, he couldn't be all bad. "Squall," he finally responded. "Squall Leonhart."_

_Instant recognition came to Lon's expression. "…From Balamb Garden?" he said incredulously. "As in, the Squall Leonhart who conspired and fought against Sorceress Edea here in Deling City? You're_ that_ Squall?"_

_Squall gave a short nod. "That's right."_

_Lon's lips spread into a full grin, like Squall was a happy discovery of thousands of Gil. "This is even better than I thought," he commented aloud, mostly to himself. "I knew just by your appearance that you were strong, but if you're a SeeD…"_

_Squall wasn't interested in anything else Lon had to say. "When can I leave?" he asked abruptly. _

_Taken by surprise, Lon's grin disappeared. "Well, I was hoping you would join my group," he explained. "We're mostly an underground operation, and you would be a wonderful asset to us. Of course, I understand if you want to go back. Your bones have healed, but it will take you a while to be able to walk on them again. Plus, your face…"_

_Those words reached Squall like bullets. "What about my face?" he said quickly. "What's wrong?"_

_Lon looked down at Squall like he was delusional. "I already told you," he started slowly. "You sustained burns in whatever crash you were in, and you were burned on the right side of your face."_

_Squall slowly touched a hand to his right cheek, and stifled a gasp as he did so. The skin was rough to the touch, like wrinkled leather. "I took the bandages off a couple weeks ago," Lon told him gently, "but it might still be tender."_

_Everything was spinning. He couldn't believe this was happening, and he wasn't sure he would believe it until he saw it himself. "Mirror," was all he said in a single, deep command, and Lon produced one within seconds._

_Before he held the mirror above Squall, Lon said, "Are you sure you're ready for this?" A single nod was all Squall offered, and Lon did what he was told._

* * *

The memory had taken its toll on Squall. He'd sunken into the pilot's seat and was now slowly running a hand down the middle of his face. That memory was one he'd tried over and over again to forget. He hadn't told Laguna any part of it, but Rinoa deserved the full truth. She could see already that he was a monster; therefore there was no harm in disclosing all the details. 

"After that, I knew I couldn't face you," he told her softly, as she stood where she was. "I couldn't face anyone. Not like this. Lon agreed to keep my identity a secret from the rest of the mercenaries, and I agreed to join them. Once I became one of them, I couldn't go back on my word. He saved my life."

Hot, angry tears were welling in Rinoa's eyes. "You think I wouldn't have wanted you back because of what happened to you physically?"

"No, no," Squall answered adamantly, looking up at her. "Don't you understand? _I _couldn't face _you_. Not like this. I thought it would be easier for you to move on if you thought I was dead so you could remember me how I was."

Rinoa closed her eyes and let a few tears fall, shaking her head. "That's stupid, Squall," she told him. "Really stupid."

"Maybe," he answered. "But you were never supposed to know I was alive."

Her expression twisted. "And that somehow makes it better?"

"No, it just…happened like that. I'm sorry it had to come out this way. I didn't want to hurt you."

Rinoa wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and sniffled. She turned to the other side of the cockpit windows and whispered, "It's a little late for that, isn't it?"

Squall didn't say anything in response, keeping his head down. There was nothing he could do to fix this. Everything he'd been working to prevent for the last year was shattered, and he had no idea how to clean up the mess.

"Did you really want to come back at first?" Rinoa asked quietly, a slight tremble of fear in her voice. "Did you want to be with me? You can tell me if you didn't."

Squall got up from his seat and stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and putting his lips close to her ear when he answered, "You have to know that I did."

She felt a shiver run through her at his touch, and couldn't bring herself to pull away. It felt so right. She relaxed into him and breathed out a long sigh. "I missed you so much," she told him. "I'm so sorry about what happened to you, I hate that you went through so much pain and I wasn't there to help you. It should've been me, not you."

"Don't say that," he said, his voice firm but quiet. "It shouldn't have been either one of us."

Rinoa turned to face him, and her eyes fell on his burns. They didn't change how she felt about him, or her attraction to him, or the light she saw in his eyes. That light that could always be found when she looked into them, no matter how much time had passed. Her hand gingerly moved to cup his right cheek, and he shied away. "You shouldn't touch it," he murmured. "It's…ugly."

She shook her head, her eyes still fixed on him. "No," she breathed. "No part of you could ever be ugly to me, Squall."

Reaching her hand toward it again, Rinoa found that this time he didn't move. He closed his eyes and let the feelings course through him, when he suddenly felt her lips against the rough skin. Opening his eyes as she pulled away, he knew for certain that nothing had changed at all. Without thinking about it, he pulled her into an embrace that was no longer awkward or tentative. Her warmth was inviting, and he ran a hand down her soft, raven-colored hair.

They stood that way for a long time, before Rinoa broke the silence with a hopeful question. "Are you coming back to Garden?" Her voice was muffled in his shoulder, but he could hear a smile in her voice. "Quistis told me I passed the exam. We could be SeeDs together. The ball is on Tuesday night, and I have no one to go with. No one to dance with…" Her eyes were still closed, but she was reliving the night they met as she spoke. "We could dance again just like we did that first night under the stars."

And just like that, the moment was over. As perfect as all of that sounded, Squall answered hesitantly, "I…can't, Rinoa."

She looked up at him. "Why not? You don't have to hide anymore."

"I vowed my service to them," he started, and Rinoa pulled away sharply. "Lon and I made an agreement that I have to stay loyal to--"

"And what about me?" Rinoa suddenly burst, a large gap between them now as she backed away. "What about your loyalty to me!? I _love _you, Squall! I don't want to be without you! All I've ever wanted is to be where you are, but you keep finding ways to make sure that doesn't happen!"

Squall shook his head, stepping forward and reaching for her hand. He couldn't muster any words that would make sense or ease her anger, and a long silence stretched between them that Rinoa broke.

"I'll make it easy for you, okay?" she said, getting closer and closer to the lift. "We can pretend that this never happened. You can go back to your 'group,' I'll go back to Garden, and we can go on like nothing's changed."

Squall couldn't mask his frustration. "Don't leave," was all he could manage.

She turned to the lift and stepped onto it, then looked back at him. "It's okay," she shrugged, sounding defeated. "You're free of any obligation here. You don't have to hide, and you don't have to come back to Garden. That's what you wanted, right?" She gave him a weak, forced smile. "Goodbye, Squall…again."

Pushing the lever down and disappearing from the cockpit, she left Squall where he was. He knew the words he should've said. The words that would've made her stay. So why hadn't he said them?

* * *

"…and that was it," Rinoa said, finishing her retelling of what had happened a few days before with Squall. "He let me go." 

Quistis had a supportive hand placed on Rinoa's back, and found that she was having a hard time thinking of ways to comfort her friend. Squall, in her opinion, was being beyond foolish. "I'm so sorry, Rinoa," she said lamely. "I can't believe he'd just go back to Deling City that easily and leave us all behind. Even if he felt an obligation to them, he had an obligation to us first."

Rinoa nodded slowly. "I told him that, too."

A lengthy period of silence passed between them, until Quistis squeezed Rinoa's shoulder. "I hate to bring up more bad news," she started, "but you and I have to be at the graduation ball in two hours."

Rinoa groaned. "I can't believe we really have to go."

Quistis nodded sympathetically. "They already postponed it because of everything with Squall, and every new member of SeeD is to be in attendance. I wish you didn't have to go, I really do."

A numbness had settled over Rinoa since her last encounter with Squall, but she was positive that blissful numbness wouldn't last once she got to the dance. Clutching a pillow from her bed to her chest, she rested her chin on it. "I'll help you get dressed if you want," Quistis offered, to which Rinoa shook her head.

"It's okay," she said truthfully. "I think I should be by myself for a little while anyway."

Smiling and nodding in understanding, Quistis said, "Okay, I'll just see you there, then. But if you need anything beforehand, just give me a call, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Quistis."

A few moments later, the door shut behind Quistis, and Rinoa was left alone. She collected her clothes and a towel and walked to the bathroom, undressing slowly and turning on the water before she closed the door. When she stepped into the tub and wet down her hair, she found that the warm beads of water were soothing. Her mind started to drift back to thoughts of Squall, as much as she wanted to forget about all of it entirely. The memories extended to Galbadia Garden, when Squall rescued her, to fighting Edea, when she'd received her sorceress powers. She'd woken alone in space, and ended up warm in Squall's arms.

The memories carried Rinoa through the rest of her shower, and by the time she stepped out, a full thirty minutes had gone by and she didn't feel any better or worse than before. She wrapped her hair in a towel and bunched it on top of her head. The thought suddenly occurred to her that, as painful as this ball alone was going to be, Cale would most likely be there. That thought made her stop what she was doing for a moment. How could she possibly face him now? Not only had she humiliated herself the last night she'd seen him, but now the whole group of SeeD hopefuls had probably heard about what happened in Esthar. How would she explain all of that to him?

That is, if he was even willing to talk to her. Just seeing him there would be awkward enough. Adding that to the growing list of reasons not to go made her even more bothered by the fact that attendance was mandatory. She heaved a sigh and removed the towel from her head, rubbing her hair with it and then reaching for a comb. Beginning to slide it through her damp, dark hair, she was interrupted by a knock at the door. Her brow furrowed, wondering why Quistis would come back so early, walked to the door and opened it without checking to see who it was. To her unpleasant surprise, it was Laguna.

Rinoa frowned, raising an eyebrow. She said nothing, letting her expression do the talking, which obviously didn't sit well with Laguna. "Er…hi," he started uncomfortably, scratching the back of his head. "I…uh…err…could I come in?"

"Why?"

"I, err…wanted to explain. You don't um…know the whole story."

Doubtful, but easily swayed, Rinoa stepped aside. "It better be a good explanation," she warned. "And it really better be different from what I think happened."

Laguna looked down sadly, like he was going to get a timeout unless he explained himself. He started to tell Rinoa about the faction within Esthar that was plotting against him, and then told the events of the night he found Squall. "Kiros and I took him back to the palace and Odine fixed him up, and we spent the next few hours debating if it was Squall or not. With his face the way it is…we couldn't be sure until he woke up."

Rinoa was listening intently, glad to get a detailed explanation of the events leading up to the discovery of Squall. She let him go on without interruption.

"He woke up while I was in the room one morning, and once he spoke, I knew it was him. But he tried to deny it at first, you know? He kept insisting I had the wrong person, that his name was 'Siber,' and I was just crazy. Which, you know, isn't the first time I've heard that, so I wondered if maybe I was wrong--"

"Wait," Rinoa cut in, piecing parts together. "He told you his name was Siber?"

Laguna nodded. "Yeah, I guess that was his code name as a mercenary there or something, I dunno." He paused, then asked, "Why?"

Unsure what to make of that information, Rinoa shook her head. "It's nothing," she answered. "Go on."

"Well anyway," Laguna continued, undeterred, "one of my aides came in to tell me you were coming for lunch, and I swore I saw Squall look _just _a little bit happier when he heard your name. So then I forced him to admit who he really was, and he did. And I said I couldn't wait to tell you that he was there, but he forbid me to say anything to you."

"He did?" Rinoa said, mildly surprised. "I guess that makes sense."

"Yeah, but it was so unfair! I couldn't meet with you so often and keep a secret like that! Not after all we did for him together."

"So why did you?"

Laguna launched into the second half of his story, explaining how he felt obligated to both parties, so he found a way around it by setting Rinoa up. "I made sure you got sent to Esthar on a fake side mission thing so you could find out for yourself," he told her. "That way, I didn't really betray either one of you. But I swear, Rinoa, I _so_ would've told you if he hadn't held that over my head! You gotta believe me."

Rinoa listened patiently to Laguna's story, and her anger with him started to quell. It sounded like he really had been looking out for both parties, and she knew Laguna wouldn't lie about something this important. But he wasn't quite off the hook yet.

Giving him a suspicious look, Rinoa said, "Is that why you acted like such a weirdo when I was there for lunch that day?"

Laguna grinned crookedly. "Guilty."

Rinoa shook her head, giggling a little in spite of everything. "You're lucky I'm so clueless sometimes!" she teased. "You definitely need to work on your subtlety."

His expression lifted when Rinoa started joking, feeling like he'd been forgiven. "I know, okay?" Laguna laughed. "Squall told me the same thing."

Rinoa's laughter quieted, and she turned away. She walked toward her mirror and started running the comb through her hair again, finishing what she'd started before Laguna arrived. Within a few moments, Laguna showed up behind her. "I take it things aren't any better with you two," he surmised softly. "Odine sent him out of Esthar yesterday. I was hoping you'd come see him before he left."

"I did," Rinoa responded, her voice edgy. "For all the good it did me."

"What do you mean? I never saw you in Esthar. Unless you snuck in somewhere," Laguna digressed, "'cause if you did you should show me how you did it. Maybe Kiros won't know about it, so I could sneak out during meetings…"

"No," Rinoa cut in, turning around with an irritated expression. "I went to Esthar, but I stopped to see the new _Ragnarok _first, and he was there."

Laguna's jaw dropped slightly. "You…really? You met up there? I told him it had been restored, but I didn't think he'd actually go…"

Much less excited about it than Laguna, Rinoa nodded. "We talked for a while, but nothing came of it." She shrugged heavily. "It's over. He's moved on, and he doesn't want to come back. That's all."

Laguna couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're giving up!?" he erupted suddenly. "After all you've been through, both of you are just going your separate ways!?"

Rinoa stepped back, surprised by his anger. "Well…yeah…" she answered hesitantly.

"That's _crap_! You have the chance to be together, I mean _really _together, and you're throwing it away! What's more important than being together?"

Disbelief was written all over Rinoa. She was almost afraid to answer. "Laguna, he has a whole different life in Galbadia now, he made a commitment to them."

As she feared, this response only seemed to further upset Laguna. "That shouldn't matter!" he argued, his eyes beginning to fill with old regret and sadness. "He's making a mistake. No commitment or obligation is worth losing you for, but he won't realize that until it's too late!"

Laguna was pacing, and he almost looked panicked. Rinoa knew this had to stem from the guilt he still felt about leaving Raine in Winhill when he became president of Esthar. She approached him slowly and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder to stop the pacing.

"Hey," she told him gently, "it's okay. This isn't the same situation. Squall is leaving by choice. You didn't go to Esthar by choice when you left Winhill. You went for Ellone. It's not the same."

He took a few deep breaths and shook his head. "He's still making a mistake."

Rinoa looked down for a moment. "I think so, too. But I survived losing him once, and I think I can do it again." _I think_, her mind added less confidently. It wasn't going to be easy, that was for sure, but Laguna didn't need to know that.

He sighed unhappily, looking at his friend and feeling beyond helpless. "I'm so sorry, Rinoa. I wish I could change it. I hate that I can't change it."

Rinoa smiled and gave him a quick hug. "I know," she said quietly. "I appreciate that." When she pulled away, she added, "Are you coming to the graduation ball? It starts in…" She glanced at the clock and her eyes widened. "Oh shoot, I only have forty-five minutes to get ready!"

Rushing back to the mirror, she started to apply makeup very quickly, to which Laguna chuckled. "Of course I'll be there!" he answered. "Congratulations on your test, by the way. I told you you'd pass."

"Thanks," Rinoa blushed. "It didn't end quite the way I expected, but I'm just glad it's over."

"Heh, well, at least you'll never forget it, right?" Laguna suggested.

Rinoa paused before sweeping cream-colored shadow over her lid. "No," she answered. "Definitely not."

Still looking a little sad, Laguna walked up behind Rinoa and patted her shoulder. "I'll see you there, okay? Save me a dance, will ya?"

"Okay," Rinoa smiled. "See you there."

When Laguna left the room, Rinoa stopped again for a moment and looked at her reflection in the mirror. A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she kept going, mentally preparing herself for the empty void that was about to settle in her chest when she faced the fact that Squall was gone from her life again.


	11. Chapter Ten: Luminosity

**Author's Note:** Omg, I live! Sorry it's taken me so long, guys, but things have been really crazy. I seriously don't know if I've ever been this busy in my entire life, and that's no stretch. College is hard. But I'm all moved into my dorm room, and I've survived my first week of classes. So as a reward to myself, I'm posting the last real chapter of the story. There's an epilogue coming, that should be sometime this week if I'm lucky. So keep an eye out! I hope you guys enjoy this one. It's been roughly edited, so if there are any typos or other errors, I'm sorry. But I needed to get it up while I had the opportunity.

_Special side note:_ This chapter, or the scene in it, was inspired by a song called, "All That I Want," by Michelle Featherstone. The song is perfect for one special scene you'll find in here, and I highly recommend listening to that song. You might like it, you might not, but I liked it and it was what gave me the scene.

_Luminosity_: _Absolute brightness. The total energy radiated into space, per second, by a celestial object such as a star._

_**Emersion  
Chapter Ten: Luminosity**_

The ballroom of Balamb Garden looked just as beautiful as Rinoa remembered from the first night she'd seen it so long ago. For some reason, even though it wasn't covered in decorations and commemoration banners, the ballroom always looked different on SeeD Graduation nights. And it was even more special now that Rinoa was wearing one of the uniforms herself.

Though she would have preferred something more feminine, Rinoa was proud to don the black jacket and skirt that signified her place as a SeeD. The colorful yellow ribbon flowing down the middle of her outfit was Rinoa's favorite part, and she liked the way it moved as she walked through the room. The calf-length socks were itching her legs, but she ignored them and kept sifting through the crowds of SeeD graduates. When she stepped to the side of the main floor, memories of the night Rinoa met Squall bombarded her, and, though she attempted to keep the emotions at bay, she was finding it difficult.

"Hey," a familiar voice greeted from behind. Rinoa turned to Quistis with a smile and a hug, glad to see a friendly face.

"You look great!" Rinoa praised, in awe as she took in Quistis's sea blue, strappy long dress. It complimented every beautiful feature of her friend. "That dress is beautiful."

"Thanks!" Quistis grinned, looking over Rinoa's attire herself. "That suits you," she commented. "Like you were always meant to wear it."

Those words made Rinoa swell with pride, particularly because of who it was coming from. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "It's all still hard to believe."

"Believe it," Quistis told her. "You made it. Now try to have fun tonight, okay? I have to go talk to the headmaster."

Rinoa nodded. "See you later." Quistis walked away and Rinoa turned her attention back to the dance floor, doing her best not to look up at the glass window in the ceiling. The last thing she needed to be reminded of was stars.

Distracting herself by watching people on the dance floor, Rinoa suddenly spotted a familiar face in her peripheral vision, and her stomach performed a sickening turn. The one person she'd dreaded seeing out of sheer embarrassment was directly to her left. Cale was doing the same thing she was, watching everyone as they swayed and moved with their partners, and when she looked over at him, he met her eyes with flushing cheeks, then immediately looked away. He appeared to be just as embarrassed as she was.

Rinoa knew she owed him an explanation, with one hell of an apology attached. He probably felt like she'd led him on, when that wasn't the case at all. If nothing else, he needed to know the absolute truth. Working up every ounce of confidence left in her, Rinoa walked over to Cale. He turned back with surprise, but said nothing and returned his gaze to the dance floor.

"Hi, Cale," she said abashedly. "I know you have no reason to talk to me right now, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about what happened the other night." He still didn't turn his eyes to her, but Rinoa kept going anyway.

"See, there's…there _was _this guy that I was with, and we kind of…met under a shooting star." Rinoa wrinkled her nose at that description. Shaking her head, she continued to fumble, "It sounds corny, I know, but he – this guy – sort of…disappeared about a year ago, and sometimes things like that get to me. I just wasn't ready to go through it all again, and I know that now. But I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings."

Cale's expression was slowly softening, but he still appeared wounded. That much Rinoa had expected, but all she really wanted was for him to understand. Finally, he moved his eyes to hers and said, "You could've just told me that a few days ago. I've been wondering what I did wrong for almost a week now."

"I know," Rinoa answered, biting her lower lip. "I'm really sorry, there's just been…a lot going on."

Cale gave her a curt nod. "I appreciate that," he told her quietly. After a pause, he added, "Congratulations on your test."

Rinoa smiled slightly. "Yeah, you too."

"Thanks."

When it was clear she wasn't going to get anything else out of him, Rinoa started to walk back the way she came. "Rinoa," Cale called to her. She looked back at him, and he said after a moment, "Good luck. With whatever you do."

Now Rinoa smiled fully, nodded and turned back. The damage was done, but at least she didn't feel like he hated her. Hopefully, Cale would find someone who would be able to fully appreciate him. He deserved that, she thought.

She hadn't made it all the way to the other side of the dance floor before a hand reached out and pulled her from the crowd, causing a yelp of surprise to escape from Rinoa. When she realized who it was, she scolded, "Laguna, don't do that to me! You scared me."

Laguna chuckled without remorse. "Just keepin' you on your knees," he commented smugly, as if he was being clever.

"You mean on my _toes_?" Rinoa corrected.

"Sure, whatever. Anyway, you look awesome in your uniform! Totally perfect."

Rinoa looked down at herself and smoothed out the creases in her shirt, then back up at Laguna. "Thanks," she replied. "I like it too. It feels right."

A fast-tempo song was playing on the dance floor, and Laguna looked at her with an excited spark in his eyes. "You wanna dance?" he asked, sounding more like he was begging. "You _did _promise."

"Right, right," Rinoa conceded, although truthfully it was nice to have to someone to divert her attention. Taking his hand in hers, Rinoa led Laguna into the sea of couples and started to move to the beat with him. he appeared to be thoroughly enjoying himself, Rinoa noted, and his dancing was certainly amusing. Not only was he off the beat most of the time, but his moves were so exaggerated and silly that Rinoa had a hard time keeping a straight face. Eventually, she gave up and joined him in the crazy steps, laughing through most of the song.

When the fast number had finished, an easier one started. Laguna moved a little closer to Rinoa and placed one hand on her shoulder, and the other on her hip. "I liked the fast one better," he complained.

Rinoa continued to move slowly to this new song, glad that she felt a little less ridiculous now. "I'm sure you did," was her playful response to Laguna.

They danced a few minutes longer before Laguna looked down at her in slight concern. "How're you doing with being here, by the way?" he asked, closer to her ear.

Rinoa shrugged. "I'll be fine as long as I can keep my mind off of him."

* * *

When night had finally fallen on Deling City, Squall made his way to a familiar location where his leader was waiting. Squall wasn't entirely sure what Lon was going to say to him. So much time seemed to have passed since he'd left Deling City for Esthar, and Squall wasn't even sure if the group thought he was alive. Briefly, he wondered if any of them would care if they did think he was dead, but cast the thought from his mind just as quickly as it entered. 

Opening the door to the hiding place Squall knew Lon would be, he ducked inside and looked around, spotting Lon in the corner. Realization dawned on Lon's features as his eyes moved up and down Squall's figure, like he couldn't believe Squall was standing there. Shooting up from his chair, Lon moved forward, the shock melting away on his features.

"Well, well, it looks like someone made it out of Esthar alive after all," Lon said, a certain tone in his voice that Squall couldn't quite pinpoint, but didn't appreciate. "I guess I was wrong to assume you'd failed. You _did _actually complete the mission, right? After that long, I'm hoping the answer is yes."

Squall's eyes narrowed. "Yes, I completed the mission," he answered irritably. "I was injured during a fight with the group you wanted me to suppress, and the president of Esthar took me in. I've been recovering, but I didn't get a chance to send word."

Lon considered this for a few moments, seeming to mull it over. "You did take out the faction?" he asked again for confirmation.

"Yes," Squall responded emphatically, intentionally forgetting to add the part where he'd saved Laguna's life. Lon didn't need those details.

After another slight hesitation, Lon nodded. "Right then. I'll only let you come back if you tell me the full details of what happened."

Squall's brow furrowed. "What?"

"You're not telling me the whole truth," Lon shrugged. "Give me the whole story, or you can't come back."

"How do you know I'm not telling the whole story?"

Lon smirked. "Oh, please. It's written all over your face, Leonhart."

Squall could count on one hand the number of times Lon had referred to him by anything but his code name, but he always used it when they were talking about personal matters. Strangely, however, the use of his true last name made Squall feel exposed. "The full story is…complicated," he finally said, keeping his eyes averted.

"You knew someone in the faction?" Lon guessed.

Squall shook his head. "I knew the president of Esthar."

"Interesting," Lon commented. "And?"

Rolling his eyes skyward, Squall finally confessed the last part he hadn't wanted to give up. "And the president knew someone else I…didn't necessarily want to see."

"An old enemy?"

"No," Squall replied quietly, like he was uttering someone's closest secret. "It was the opposite."

"Ahh," Lon breathed, fully understanding now. "I see, I see. I thought you had that lovelorn look on your face." He chuckled. "Who would've thought? You with a girl out there somewhere."

Keeping the negative retorts to himself, Squall merely nodded. Before he could do anything else, though, Lon's forehead suddenly crinkled. "Why are you here, then?" he asked pointedly. "Unless things didn't go well, shouldn't you be with her now? Why come back to this godforsaken place?"

Squall opened his mouth to respond, but found that nothing came out the first time. Concentrating harder on the answer, he tried again. "I have a responsibility to you and the others," he said, keeping his voice matter-of-fact.

Lon considered that, then nodded slowly, coming to a decision. "Right. You've got a choice then, Siber," he said, returning to his use of Squall's code name.

Squall waited, unsure what to expect. "What choice?" he asked.

"You can return to us with no hard feelings," Lon went on. "There will be no punishment for your disappearance on a mission, and we can pretend none of this ever happened. Or..."

"Or what?" Squall pressed, becoming impatient.

"Or...you can separate yourself from us without penalty, and go back to the life you used to lead. The choice is yours." A warning look flashed in Lon's eyes as he added, "But your choice must be final."

* * *

Focusing on the music was the best way to keep Rinoa's mind from the memories of Squall, and she continued to do just that. However, it then occurred to her that "Waltz to the Moon," the song she'd dance to at the first SeeD Ball, might well be played next. Rinoa closed her eyes briefly and prayed that that wouldn't happen. She didn't want to fall apart here. Not here. 

While her eyes were closed, she suddenly felt Laguna stop dancing, even though the music seemed to be reaching its climax. It sounded like everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing as well, and gasps and murmurings started to float around her. Rinoa opened her eyes and instantly felt her heart leap to her throat.

There stood Squall behind Laguna, his visage slightly afraid. His eyes were on Rinoa's shocked expression, but every other eye in the room was on him. He looked as regal as she remembered him looking the night they met, dressed in the same SeeD uniform he'd worn then. When he spoke finally, his gaze was still locked on Rinoa, but his question was directed to Laguna.

"Can I cut in?" he said deeply, to which Laguna responded by immediately breaking away from Rinoa like she'd burned him, and stepping several paces back. She shot Laguna a panic-ridden glare before turning to Squall.

Slowly, Squall extended his hand to her, and Rinoa simply stared at it for a few moments. "What are you doing here, Squall?" her voice shook. "You said you were going back to Deling City. We said goodbye. You shouldn't…" Realizing that she was speaking loud enough so that people near them could hear, Rinoa finished in a hiss through her teeth, "you shouldn't be here."

Squall shook his head. "No," he told her, his voice quieting as the song ended. "This is where I always should've been." He motioned to her with his outstretched hand while a very slow song's opening bars filled the ballroom. "Dance with me," he said softly. "Please."

Rinoa couldn't shut the words out. This place, this room, these feelings…she couldn't keep them at bay. Not when it came to Squall. She reached out a trembling hand and placed it in his, letting him draw her close to his chest and sway them gently to the music. Though it felt so right and there was no place Rinoa felt she'd rather be, this closeness and intimacy tugged painfully at her. She rested her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

As much as she would've liked to simply enjoy the dance, Rinoa had too many questions. She lifted her head slightly and said aloud, "Are you really here to stay?"

"Yes," Squall answered simply.

Her head shifted up to look at him. "How?" was all she could manage.

Squall swept a piece of stray hair from Rinoa's eyes. "Lon cut me off," he told her, no emotion stealing into his voice. "I failed my mission, and therefore the group itself, so he told me to leave and never come back."

"Really?" Rinoa said, unsure whether to trust this explanation or not.

"Really. You told me you'd be here, and I wanted to see you." He traced her jaw-line with his finger, and Rinoa struggled to keep her focus.

Silence followed for a long time, but unspoken words still seemed to be flowing between them. Rinoa was so tired of going back and forth like this. It was exhausting, not to mention confusing. Would things ever go back to normal? Would she ever feel like she had closure? Not with Squall disappearing and reappearing in her life so often. But she couldn't say no to him. She couldn't say no to all the feelings he created within her, the comfort he made her feel, or how safe she felt when he was close to her. No one else could spark this feeling, and Rinoa got the unsettling feeling that no one else ever would.

As the soft music went on, Rinoa brought herself closer to him and reached her arms up around his neck. She felt him touch his temple to hers before she heard him whisper, "I love you," in her ear. Upon hearing the words she'd longed to hear for so long, her heart felt like it would explode out of her chest and joyful tears welled in her eyes.

"I love you too, Squall," she answered, almost inaudibly. "I always have."

Squall held her tighter in response. Finally, it had been said. Those words, that single phrase had been the only thing standing in the way of letting herself completely give in to him, and now it had been said. She had no reasons left to run from this.

And that in itself was the most wonderful feeling she could imagine at that moment.

The song came to a close, and the pair stopped moving, but she didn't release their hold on each other. Rinoa feared that if she let go of him, this would all disappear. Squall would leave her alone again, and her empty life would resume. But as she pulled away, the scene remained, and he started to lead her off of the dance floor. It was then that Rinoa noticed all the eyes following their every move. Had they been watching the entire time? Every other surrounding had vanished when she and Squall were dancing, it seemed, and the other students were no exception.

Squall led her to the balcony, out of view, underneath the clear night sky. He didn't release her hand, but turned toward the front of the balcony and looked out across the shadowed valleys and hills. Rinoa remained quiet, drinking Squall's presence in, still afraid that if she blinked, he would be gone when she opened her eyes again.

"Do you want me to stay?" Squall asked flatly, still looking forward. "I can go other places if you'd rather not get involved."

Rinoa looked at him dubiously. "Squall, look at me," she said, moving close to his side and smiling softly. "Do I look like I don't want you to stay?"

His eyes met hers, and his lips suddenly tugged into a smile Rinoa hadn't expected. A rush of joy stole through her at the sight, and she beamed in return. "I was hoping you'd say that," he murmured.

His lips inched toward hers, and, though every part of her was quaking and trembling, Rinoa met them in a tentative kiss. Within seconds, however, it turned more passionate, until his hands hand moved to her neck and there was no space between their bodies. There was no doubt in either mind that this was the kiss they were sharing now had been worth waiting every second for.


	12. Epilogue

**Author's Note:** And so it ends. ;; I have a strong feeling that this is going to be the last piece of FF8 fanfiction I do for a while. I don't want to say ever, because that will make me cry and I don't want to cry, but with life going the way it's going, it's time to move on. It's time to focus on my career as I want it to be in the future, and that means becoming more directly involved in my classes and writing for those. But you may see more from me, you never know. I love writing too much to say this is the end. Wish me luck, you may see me editing for your newspaper or favorite novel someday:) Thanks for reading, all. I love you guys so much!

_**Emersion  
**Epilogue_

_Eight months later_

There was nothing but smiles to be found in the crowd assembled at Trabia Garden. The remodel was finished, and Rinoa only wished Selphie could have been there to see it. as promised, there was a special area for the Garden Festival, along with a bigger auditorium and larger classrooms. A memorial for every student lost had been built in the back as well, but Rinoa, Squall, Zell, Irvine and Quistis stood in the middle of campus near the fountain. Rinoa had delighted in showing Squall every single part of the new Trabia Garden, and he had unenthusiastically played along. Now they stood hand-in-hand among their friends, ready to officially declare the Garden open.

Looking over at Squall, Rinoa grinned. Even after all the time that had passed since they'd found each other again, simply having him by her side made her smile. He noticed her stare after a moment and looked over. "What?" he said flatly.

"Nothing," she answered, still beaming. "Just happy, that's all. I'm glad you're here to see this with me, Squall."

He made a small noise of agreement and turned his gaze forward, but Rinoa could see a small smile forming on his lips. That was enough for her to know that he felt the same way. The crowds started to form around them, and happy chatter suddenly surrounded Rinoa on all sides. Irvine began to walk toward the front of the crowd, and Rinoa squeezed Squall's hand, leaning into him a little.

"Howdy, everyone!" Irvine shouted over the noise, attempting to bring their attention to him. The murmuring quieted, slowly moving to silence, and Irvine continued. "I'd like to thank y'all for coming. It means a lot to me and my friends over there. You all probably know of Selphie Tilmett, which means you know she's the reason we wanted to help. This woulda made her so happy."

Rinoa felt many pairs of eyes turn toward her and her friends, but she kept her gaze on Irvine. "It's taken a long time and a lot of work, but this Garden is finally ready to open. Thanks to everyone who helped us achieve this goal. This Garden is dedicated to everyone lost along the way."

Irvine bowed his head and placed his hat over his heart, letting a moment of silence pass over the crowd. When his head came back up, a smile reappeared on his face and he announced more cheerfully, "All right, that's it! Fully restored and ready for anything, this is Trabia Garden!"

Cheers and applause exploded from the audience, including Rinoa. Many students started toward the main building, and Irvine dropped back to join them. Rinoa let go of Squall's hand and ran over to hug Irvine, congratulating him excitedly.

"You helped, too!" he reminded her, still smiling. "This is everybody's accomplishment."

"It all looks amazing, Irvine," Quistis remarked, standing next to Zell, who heartily agreed. "You did a great job."

Irvine nodded and thanked them, then turned to Squall to receive subsequent approval. In response to the silent question, Squall nodded and said, "I wish I could've been around to help."

"We do, too," Irvine said quietly. A beat of silence passed before he added, "You guys should go have a look around. We can meet up later, right? Go check everything out."

"I think we will," Rinoa chimed in, looping her arm through Squall's and looking up at him. "See you guys later?"

They split off, and Rinoa was glad to have some time alone with Squall. Knowing just what she wanted to see first, Rinoa led Squall toward the back of Garden. "Pretty cool, isn't it?" she prompted, nudging him playfully. "Almost as advanced as Balamb now."

Squall shrugged. "Not quite, but it is well-built."

Rolling her eyes but keeping a smile, Rinoa sighed. "So hard to impress," she commented, her tone playfully defeated. They neared the spot she was leading them to, and Rinoa quickened her pace. "But you have to get excited about this," she told Squall. "I'll be mad if you don't."

"Where are we going?" Squall pushed impatiently, looking unhappy about being pulled around this way. "Just tell me."

"No way, it's a surprise!" Rinoa argued. "Now close your eyes."

"No."

"Yes! Come on, don't be such a grump!"

He reluctantly obeyed, and Rinoa walked them around the corner. Giggling quietly to herself, she moved Squall where she wanted him and stepped back. "Okay," she said, "open!"

Squall opened his eyes and found himself in the middle of the basketball court, which had new, shiny blacktop but the same stands and hoops on both sides. Squall's gaze softened a little as he looked it over, and Rinoa knew his mind was going back to the day they'd come out here before fighting Edea, when they all realized their connecting pasts. Everyone except Rinoa, of course, who felt a special tie to this spot for different reasons.

"This is kind of the last place we were all together before everything went wrong," Rinoa said nostalgically as she looked around. "At least, it's the last place I remember. I kept wishing we could've stayed here longer, so nobody would have to fight and everyone would be safe."

Nodding slowly, Squall answered quietly, "I remember. You didn't want to fight."

"Right, and you explained that we didn't really have an option. It was interesting, because I felt like we really understood each other for the first time that day, you know? It made me really happy."

While she was talking, Rinoa had moved in front of Squall again and was now looking up at him fondly. His eyes met hers, but he didn't say anything in return. "But that was nothing compared to how happy I am _now_," she told him as her arms encircled his waist. "What about you?" she asked. "Are you happy?"

Squall wrapped his arms around Rinoa in return, and murmured, "How could I not be?"

She smiled slightly and shrugged. "Sometimes I just wonder, that's all," Rinoa explained. "Even though it's been a while, I still like to make sure you feel like you made the right choice by coming back. I mean, after you told me what really happened between you and Lon that night, sometimes I wonder if you think you would've been better off staying with them."

"Hey, listen," Squall said firmly, shaking his head and pulling Rinoa back to look at her. "I _know_ I made the right choice. I don't ever doubt that, and you shouldn't either, okay?"

Rinoa nodded after a moment, feeling slightly abashed. "Okay, I won't. I'm sorry."

He squeezed her again reassuringly, rubbing a hand in circles on her back. "Don't apologize," he said more gently. "Come on, let's get back to the others. We should get back to our own garden."

* * *

Rinoa stepped off of the elevator and headed toward Squall's office with growing suspicion. Since his reinstatement as commander, Squall had never done anything even close to this. Always, if he wanted to talk to her, he simply found her himself. What could this be about?

She reached the door and knocked a few times, then entered upon confirmation from within the room. Rinoa peeked her head around the corner and smiled when she saw Squall. "Hey," she greeted. "You paged me, right? I didn't just imagine that?"

Squall rose from his desk and started toward her, dropping a pen on some paperwork as he went. "No, you didn't imagine it," he told her. "You're right on time, I just finished up."

Rinoa's brow furrowed. "On time for what? What are you planning?"

"You'll see," Squall replied shortly, opening the door and standing beside it. "Come on, let's go."

"Go where? Squall, this is too weird. What's going on?"

His expression gave away nothing, and he simply motioned out the door. Rinoa reluctantly complied, heaving a sight and walking through, but the questions didn't stop. She continued to pester Squall with inquiries while he drove to their destination, but he didn't lose his calm demeanor, which was even more frustrating for Rinoa.

Finally, Squall parked the car and Rinoa looked around excitedly. Her expression fell quickly back to puzzlement, however, when she saw nothing unusual about their surroundings. Squall had parked on the outskirts of Balamb in front of a quaint house Rinoa had never seen before, close to the ocean. Though the view was beautiful, she still didn't understand. She got out of the car and looked out across the horizon.

"The beach…?" Rinoa started, beginning to sound irritated. "Squall, what is this? You're driving me crazy!"

Squall moved around to her side of the car and slipped something into Rinoa's hand. Something cold and hard, with an odd shape. Opening her hand and looking down at it, Rinoa instantly looked back up at Squall. "A key?"

"Go inside," Squall instructed, nodding his head toward the house just a few yards from where they stood. "It's ours."

Rinoa's expression froze. For a moment, she didn't move, but a nervous laugh escaped her throat a few seconds later. "Sorry, I think I heard you wrong. Whose home is this?"

Squall smiled softly. "It's _ours_, Rinoa."

It wasn't a joke. He wasn't playing tricks on her. He was serious…he'd bought them a house. Her gaze slowly moved to look at it, and Rinoa felt a swelling of happiness in her chest. It was beautiful. It wasn't too small or large, painted in soft blues, and Rinoa could see a back porch that was built directly over the water. It was perfect.

"But...how…?" she managed, feeling a lump in her throat start to form.

"I made a lot of money in Deling City that I never used," Squall explained matter-of-factly. "I thought it was time to leave the dorms. Headmaster Cid told me we can still function as SeeDs, and we can see everyone else any time we want."

Rinoa's stare was still locked on he house, and she shook her head when Squall finished. "It's too much, Squall. This is all just…so sudden."

Squall's look of amusement shifted to concern. "You don't want to?"

"No, I do!" she replied quickly, moving her eyes to him. "I'd love nothing more. I just…I don't want you to do this just because of what I said the other day at Trabia. I don't want that o have pushed you into--"

Squall moved forward, taking Rinoa's hand in his and looking directly at her. "That's not why I did this," he cut her off. "I've been planning all of this for weeks now. I did this because I want to be with you. Away from Garden."

A smile she couldn't fight was spreading across Rinoa's face. "Really?" she said happily, holding back the tears of joy forming in her eyes.

"Really."

Taking in a deep breath, Rinoa said, "Okay," in a soft voice that grew when she finished, "okay, we'll do it! You and me, away from Garden. Let's do it!"

Squall smiled more fully now, and he swooped her up in an embrace and setting her back down while she laughed. He kissed her soundly an assured her, "You won't regret it."

Rinoa nodded, fully believing that those words were true. "I know," she told Squall, quoting his words as she kissed him in return. "I know I made the right choice."


End file.
